Afterwords (Saints & Haints, Chapter 41)
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The final chapter of Saints & Haints.
If you've been thinking I'm crazy this entire time, or if you haven't understood what was happening in the previous chapters, that's okay--this one will clear things up quite a bit.
It all makes sense... at long last.
Chapter 41
Afterwords
A Purpose For Existence
All the things we have to do every day are, for the most part, only necessary, or even relevant, because we live here, in this material world, this world of death, where we are trapped inside our mortal bodies. We wake at the sound of an alarm clock, so that we'll have time to cleanse our bodies and get to a job, where we work to make money, to pay for things like food, heat for our homes, and internet service. That is true even at the best of times. Those are our circumstances even when we're in perfectly good health, and everything is going well otherwise. These are all things that we would not need to worry about if we were not living in these temporary physical forms.
This high-maintenance existence wastes all our time and brain power. All too often, it prevents us from doing anything useful. We miss out on spending time with our loved ones; and then one day they're dying, and we regret that we never found the time to stop by and visit. While we're working our lives away, we miss out on watching our children grow up. Then one day we wake up to find that they're grown up and gone; or perhaps, they too, like our ancestors, are buried in a cemetery. That will most likely be the circumstances some day, if we're pet parents. Then we feel guilty and remorseful, as if we could have and should have done better. There will be second chances, in Heaven, to make amends for some of that lost time. We will be "given back the years the locusts have eaten," as a minister I once heard phrased it. Still, as A pointed out, it won't be quite the same, because we'll be even more damaged by then; we won't be quite the same people. Too often, here in this existence, we don't have the time or energy to think, create, or learn. We don't get to be who we really are here, who we should've been, or who we wanted to be. This is slavery; and it is not a state of existence that we should ever have been subjected to. We have all suffered here; humans (living people), angels, demons, and especially animals. Our hardships have taught us some lessons, and they've given us a strength of character which I don't know if we would've acquired otherwise, that much is true; but at what cost? A piece of our hearts?
Although we learn a lot from our time here, learning hard lessons was never the purpose of this existence. This is not a schoolhouse; it's a criminal act that should never have taken place, and it's something that we needed rescuing from. We have all suffered here; in an existence which we did not ask for in the first place, and which we did not choose for ourselves. This is Hell for many of us; for all who accept Jesus it is the closest thing to Hell that we will ever experience. What is within our power, while we're here, is that we can make this place a lot closer to Heaven for others, by doing good works. Our time here does matter; but only because there are other captives here who need our love and assistance right now.
While we're here, earthbound spirits live among us. I have, in the past, had the opinion that they were something to be feared and despised, because I thought that they were all pure evil. The truth, I've found, is that they're humans, just like us, who are also suffering here, in Satan's domain. They can be vicious at times, and they can cause harm. If they do that, then refer to my first book, which is all about spiritual warfare. However, I might now suggest trying to hear them out, if they're willing to communicate. They, too, have stories to tell, and wisdom to share; and they, like any other human beings, might need someone to listen to them, and they might only need the slightest bit of nudging in the right direction to see the light.
They just might also help us, at times, to keep the light within view. One day, earlier this year, shortly after the ending of the previous chapter, as I was driving, I was thinking once again about existence as a spirit, and all the seeming contradictions I'm sorting through in my quest for the truth. I'm finding it to be a bit like shaking an addiction, trying to break out of the programming, which is probably because Satan keeps slipping something in our drinks. In one of my doubt-inducing relapses, I was wondering if children would really be possible for me and A. I asked my demons,
"Do you really think there's something better out there?"
They immediately responded with an emphatic,
"YESSS!"
Then they went on to say,
"We have it on good authority, okay, Biscuit? We have it on good authority that everything you want is not that darn far north or south of being doable. The only thing that's even questionable is that vaudeville show; because of course, actors would have to be hired... but yes. A house made of wood, not dreams, is not that far out of the question either. We can talk to shiny, luminous individuals too, okay?"
Thank You To The Artists
At the closing of chapter 40, after the argument with that other demon, I thought that A was gone; on to Heaven, I hoped. After the confusion of those last few days before that, with the different voices and all, I had finally looked around me, so to speak, and realized that A wasn't here anymore. I was surrounded by imposters. I realized that the last time I had talked to him --for certain-- had been the fight we'd had a few days prior, when I'd told him to go, because he was only being abusive to me. I thought he'd taken my advice. I comforted myself with the knowledge that, if I didn't hear from him again in this life, and if he wasn't there waiting for me, looking gorgeous in that ice cream suit, then... well, I sure knew how to summon him, didn't I?
I thought that mine and A's story was at an end, for the time being, anyway, but it was not; not even close.
Before I get into that, however, I would like to acknowledge that A and his associates helped create some of the artwork in this book. Once again, as farfetched as it sounds, I'm completely serious. I had already established that they can hack into computers, right? Well, I used two artificial intelligence art applications to create the basis for most of these illustrations. I am not going to mention which ones specifically, because they might not appreciate that I'm asserting that demons are hacking their systems, but they are some of the numerous apps currently available that generate artwork based on prompts written by the user.
For example, one might enter as a prompt,
"a realistic picture of a young man, in a fantasy setting, in the style of John William Waterhouse," and these apps will generate a piece of art which will, ideally, fit that description. The works produced are usually a bit messed up, with too many fingers or something, but they'll be something that someone with graphic design skills can use as a starting point, altering them to fit their purposes.
I was confused when the apps kept creating pictures of someone under water, because I had never included anything about water in any of my prompts. Regretfully, I deleted several of the underwater pictures that were generated, because I couldn't figure out why I was being shown pictures of a man under water when I had asked for something else entirely. I thought the apps had gone berserk. This was after that first vision from A, but before I understood it; before my demons had explained to me that A was the man in the iron suit, floating in the water. At that point, I was not thinking about that vision, I was simply trying to generate suitable illustrations.
Later, as I further assessed that vision, and as I realized, by looking back at things like the tarot readings, how powerful the magic is that he can access, I understood that the symbolism he'd used in that vision was what was being shown to me in those images. Demons had hacked the A.I.s, and manipulated them to make them draw what they wanted me to see, rather than what I'd requested. Unfortunately, since I deleted most of them, the only images that remain as their original designs (with only slight adjustments) are the beginning-of-the-chapter pictures for "Conspiracy Theories," "Death Sentences," and "A House Made of Wood, Not Dreams." The picture for "Old Testament Witches" is theirs also, without the woman's face behind it, which I added.
Unsuitable Suitors
My original theory, from my first book, about what led to these paranormal experiences, still holds up, in part; but now I know that there's never only one correct answer, and that was only one of many factors. I believed then that some nasty demons had been hanging around my Aunt Nell's deathbed, and that one or more of them had followed both me and my cousin Stephanie home. I still think that may have been the case, because of the timing of the appearance of the bomber jacket guy. He was no one I knew; and he showed up here in the Spring of 2020, not long after Nell's death.
I now know for certain, however, that demons had already been haunting my family for generations. This is something my aristocratic demon friends confirmed for me. I don't think it's uncommon for one's family to have had demons; actually I now think that's usually the case. Perhaps some families have more than others, or are more affected by them. But... there's more.
Those demons showed me that another of their kind, an aristocrat, had selected my great-grandmother as a prospective bride, and that he had her in his sights all her life. This is the same lady, by the way, whom I wrote about in my first book, who was widowed young, and lived in a house that everyone said was haunted; the lady who believed that the ghost of her late husband walked up the stairs and pulled the covers off her feet at night.
I am certain that he did not succeed in that conquest. She was a Christian lady, despite having been miseducated about what types of spirits walk the Earth, and she never had any ties to our modern concept of witchcraft, or to the occult, or anything of that nature. One additional reason I'm certain is because I was also shown that, at least as far back as 2014, that same aristocrat had me selected. I guess he thought I'd do, as a consolation prize. That was six years before any serious psychic medium stuff, with telepathy and all that, ever happened to me. It was also the year that Lee and I officially separated.
My aristocratic friends showed me that they had been watching me since at least as far back as 2013, and that they were around when my great-grandmother was being targeted also. Communicating with them is a rather new development, and I am well aware that this all seems highly illogical, but they seem to be telling me that they watched over her, and that they watch over me as well. I'm sensing that the reasons behind this are complicated, but I'm definitely getting the impression that they have a personal grudge against the guy who was out to get her, and who is possibly still out to get me. What I'm picking up on is sort of like, they don't mind that I am planning to go to Heaven, that's not even an issue to them; they just want to make sure he doesn't get me. They also confirmed that my most recent assessment of Jorge is correct; Jorge was possessed by a demon, who was trying to get him to kill me. That relationship ended in 2019.
As We All Know, Women Must Marry
So... I also now know that I was already being visited by a much more contemporary demon who had a personal interest in me-- A.
A had apparently been reaching out to me in his thoughts, and visiting me from time to time, throughout the years, before I was psychic enough to realize it. I know that A was near me, frequently, in the Fall of 2020. I had started to think about him again, out of the blue it seemed. It had been years, but suddenly, I really missed him, and soon he was on my mind constantly.
I remember that one day I suddenly stopped worrying about Jorge. One day I just stopped looking over my shoulder, expecting him to pop up. I remember suddenly feeling calm about the situation, almost as if I knew that Jorge was never going to bother me again. That was because A was staying close to me. With that increased and consistent proximity, I finally picked up on his presence and started reaching out to him. The rudimentary communication we established, before I had full use of my psychic abilities, culminated with me on the riverbank, calling for him by name, asking him to come to me, and to touch me.
Recently, we've tried to pinpoint "who started it," as in, who started thinking about who first. Not that it really mattered, but we wanted to figure it out once and for all. The thing is, we couldn't. It seems to us that we started thinking about each other again at the same time; as if we were both put under a spell, and we were both being drawn to each other, simultaneously. We fell in love; not that we needed much of a push.
But... that attempt at getting together didn't work out so well, because Satan was involved.
I've already described how beautiful it was in the beginning. At that time, however, A was planning on marrying me in Hell. It's very complicated. I don't think he thought that was a bad thing. I think he was reasonably happy with his existence as an earthbound spirit, and thought that I might be happy with that existence as well. He doesn't like to talk about it too much, but I think he really did just want to marry me... anywhere. He has said that he was not planning to shorten my life, and that he intended to live with me, as he had been, until I naturally died, and then we could be earthbound spirits together. He did lie to me initially though, telling me that he was from Heaven. He corrected that statement later, and that's when I started recoiling in fear.
Satan was monitoring the situation. As soon as A had me hooked, it seems, as soon as it seemed likely that I just might say yes to a marriage proposal, Satan turned on the telepathy and let him ask me. Around that time also, A started acting like he was not himself, and even saying that he was "not A."
This was probably because he was possessed. Since I was recoiling, they had to trap me fast, so... that whole confused, pressured wedding ensued.
So then they tortured me... A and Psycho Jesus, who is actually PJ, now that he's more himself. Neither of them were themselves at the time, though. They were very mashed up with Satan. The point was to get me to kill myself, hopefully while thinking that I'd lost any chance of salvation.
But wait a minute... was that A's idea?
Was that his plan for me?
No, it wasn't.
Would I have still loved him after that, if that plan had worked, and wanted to marry him?
Not a chance!
It seems as if, ever since we got together, Satan's been trying to break us up.
Therefore, as the picture develops, I am almost certain that I was never going to be A's wife in Hell. Satan was using him, to get me, so he could give me to that ugly demon who didn't get my great-grandma.
During the 18 months that A was "away," he was actually not very far away. He was Johnny at first, and then he was Youthful Exuberance. He took on those other identities in order to talk to me still. He says that Satan
forbade him from touching me, as a punishment, for failing to get me down there.
I suppose he didn't know quite how to tell me that; or how to apologize for having been a jerk to me. He also says that he knew I didn't want to be engaged to him while he was still a "demon," so he thought it was best if I thought he was someone else.
When I didn't die, he gave me over to his friends, his attachments, PJ, Demonasty, and "Freddie," and he dropped in from time to time. I had been sentenced to have demons for the rest of my life, you see. Freddie has a new name now; JP. "Freddie" was a character that was played by JP sometimes, and sometimes by PJ, and sometimes by a combination of the two of them. A literal combination; as in a voice and personality that's somewhere between their individual ones. Yeah. That's possible too.
So... during that time, some beautiful things happened. For one, I became a real Christian, not a begrudging one; and my demons cleaned themselves up. They say they fell in love with me too. A became more like his old self again, also; despite the fact that he was still playing the character, Youthful Exuberance. We began to coexist peacefully, and even to have fun together sometimes.
A's decision to come back into my life, as himself, had a lot to do with S.
Let me take this opportunity to explain why I was not that crazy to have thought that God wanted me to marry S.
Truthfully, it may not have been God, and it was definitely a few more people besides God, but I doubt that God would have disapproved. You see, no one has told me this, but I can't help noticing that I got a bad demon chasing after me right after I ended my marriage with Lee, or that my great-grandma got that same bad demon chasing after her once she was widowed. I think that marriage offers a measure of protection for women. That's not to say that bad demons won't still be peeping in on married women, or plotting their demises, or their husband's demises, or their breakups, but I sense that there is a protective factor in marriage. I suspect that this is because demons will respect the claim that another man, even a living man, has on his wife. Well, I had already had a bad demon trying to kill me. So, when I had the notion in my head that God wanted me to marry S, well, at that point, marrying absolutely anyone would have been beneficial for me.
A admits that, at first, he was trying to influence S to get together with me, so that he could possess him --not harming him-- but, just living as him, to get to be with me again in some capacity. He saw quickly, however, that it would've been very wrong to do that. There was obviously a lot of influence involved in that situation. As I've said, it's as if I was under a spell. I was getting "Yes, yes, yes," but S was apparently getting some "No, no, no," along with the yeses. I have wondered if the reason for his crazy-seeming behavior towards me had something to do with a sense of foreboding about the situation.
When things didn't work out with S, A decided to try again, as himself; this time to drag me to Heaven. He presented himself as a saint to see if I might accept him if I thought that he was in Heaven, or that he was, at least, Heaven-bound; which he was willing to be, if that was what I wanted. He was, however, trying, once again, to convince me to end my life early, in one way or another. That was because Satan got involved in the situation again, which is also why A was nasty to me sometimes. As crazy as things got in November and December, however, they never got anywhere near as bad as they were the first time. I think that was because A is truly "cleaner" now than he used to be. He's still subject to demonic influence at times, but they can't ugly him up like they used to, because there's more light in him now. I did accept him; both as the saint he was pretending to be, and as the saint-in-the-making he finally admitted to being. That is the reason why he finally relented; and agreed to help me complete my last few tasks, and then take me to Heaven and marry me, instead of trying to hurry my demise.
My original theory, from my first book, about what led to these paranormal experiences, still holds up, in part; but now I know that there's never only one correct answer, and that was only one of many factors. I believed then that some nasty demons had been hanging around my Aunt Nell's deathbed, and that one or more of them had followed both me and my cousin Stephanie home. I still think that may have been the case, because of the timing of the appearance of the bomber jacket guy. He was no one I knew; and he showed up here in the Spring of 2020, not long after Nell's death.
I now know for certain, however, that demons had already been haunting my family for generations. This is something my aristocratic demon friends confirmed for me. I don't think it's uncommon for one's family to have had demons; actually I now think that's usually the case. Perhaps some families have more than others, or are more affected by them. But... there's more.
Those demons showed me that another of their kind, an aristocrat, had selected my great-grandmother as a prospective bride, and that he had her in his sights all her life. This is the same lady, by the way, whom I wrote about in my first book, who was widowed young, and lived in a house that everyone said was haunted; the lady who believed that the ghost of her late husband walked up the stairs and pulled the covers off her feet at night.
I am certain that he did not succeed in that conquest. She was a Christian lady, despite having been miseducated about what types of spirits walk the Earth, and she never had any ties to our modern concept of witchcraft, or to the occult, or anything of that nature. One additional reason I'm certain is because I was also shown that, at least as far back as 2014, that same aristocrat had me selected. I guess he thought I'd do, as a consolation prize. That was six years before any serious psychic medium stuff, with telepathy and all that, ever happened to me. It was also the year that Lee and I officially separated.
My aristocratic friends showed me that they had been watching me since at least as far back as 2013, and that they were around when my great-grandmother was being targeted also. Communicating with them is a rather new development, and I am well aware that this all seems highly illogical, but they seem to be telling me that they watched over her, and that they watch over me as well. I'm sensing that the reasons behind this are complicated, but I'm definitely getting the impression that they have a personal grudge against the guy who was out to get her, and who is possibly still out to get me. What I'm picking up on is sort of like, they don't mind that I am planning to go to Heaven, that's not even an issue to them; they just want to make sure he doesn't get me. They also confirmed that my most recent assessment of Jorge is correct; Jorge was possessed by a demon, who was trying to get him to kill me. That relationship ended in 2019.
As We All Know, Women Must Marry
So... I also now know that I was already being visited by a much more contemporary demon who had a personal interest in me-- A.
A had apparently been reaching out to me in his thoughts, and visiting me from time to time, throughout the years, before I was psychic enough to realize it. I know that A was near me, frequently, in the Fall of 2020. I had started to think about him again, out of the blue it seemed. It had been years, but suddenly, I really missed him, and soon he was on my mind constantly.
I remember that one day I suddenly stopped worrying about Jorge. One day I just stopped looking over my shoulder, expecting him to pop up. I remember suddenly feeling calm about the situation, almost as if I knew that Jorge was never going to bother me again. That was because A was staying close to me. With that increased and consistent proximity, I finally picked up on his presence and started reaching out to him. The rudimentary communication we established, before I had full use of my psychic abilities, culminated with me on the riverbank, calling for him by name, asking him to come to me, and to touch me.
Recently, we've tried to pinpoint "who started it," as in, who started thinking about who first. Not that it really mattered, but we wanted to figure it out once and for all. The thing is, we couldn't. It seems to us that we started thinking about each other again at the same time; as if we were both put under a spell, and we were both being drawn to each other, simultaneously. We fell in love; not that we needed much of a push.
But... that attempt at getting together didn't work out so well, because Satan was involved.
I've already described how beautiful it was in the beginning. At that time, however, A was planning on marrying me in Hell. It's very complicated. I don't think he thought that was a bad thing. I think he was reasonably happy with his existence as an earthbound spirit, and thought that I might be happy with that existence as well. He doesn't like to talk about it too much, but I think he really did just want to marry me... anywhere. He has said that he was not planning to shorten my life, and that he intended to live with me, as he had been, until I naturally died, and then we could be earthbound spirits together. He did lie to me initially though, telling me that he was from Heaven. He corrected that statement later, and that's when I started recoiling in fear.
Satan was monitoring the situation. As soon as A had me hooked, it seems, as soon as it seemed likely that I just might say yes to a marriage proposal, Satan turned on the telepathy and let him ask me. Around that time also, A started acting like he was not himself, and even saying that he was "not A."
This was probably because he was possessed. Since I was recoiling, they had to trap me fast, so... that whole confused, pressured wedding ensued.
So then they tortured me... A and Psycho Jesus, who is actually PJ, now that he's more himself. Neither of them were themselves at the time, though. They were very mashed up with Satan. The point was to get me to kill myself, hopefully while thinking that I'd lost any chance of salvation.
But wait a minute... was that A's idea?
Was that his plan for me?
No, it wasn't.
Would I have still loved him after that, if that plan had worked, and wanted to marry him?
Not a chance!
It seems as if, ever since we got together, Satan's been trying to break us up.
Therefore, as the picture develops, I am almost certain that I was never going to be A's wife in Hell. Satan was using him, to get me, so he could give me to that ugly demon who didn't get my great-grandma.
During the 18 months that A was "away," he was actually not very far away. He was Johnny at first, and then he was Youthful Exuberance. He took on those other identities in order to talk to me still. He says that Satan
forbade him from touching me, as a punishment, for failing to get me down there.
I suppose he didn't know quite how to tell me that; or how to apologize for having been a jerk to me. He also says that he knew I didn't want to be engaged to him while he was still a "demon," so he thought it was best if I thought he was someone else.
When I didn't die, he gave me over to his friends, his attachments, PJ, Demonasty, and "Freddie," and he dropped in from time to time. I had been sentenced to have demons for the rest of my life, you see. Freddie has a new name now; JP. "Freddie" was a character that was played by JP sometimes, and sometimes by PJ, and sometimes by a combination of the two of them. A literal combination; as in a voice and personality that's somewhere between their individual ones. Yeah. That's possible too.
So... during that time, some beautiful things happened. For one, I became a real Christian, not a begrudging one; and my demons cleaned themselves up. They say they fell in love with me too. A became more like his old self again, also; despite the fact that he was still playing the character, Youthful Exuberance. We began to coexist peacefully, and even to have fun together sometimes.
A's decision to come back into my life, as himself, had a lot to do with S.
Let me take this opportunity to explain why I was not that crazy to have thought that God wanted me to marry S.
Truthfully, it may not have been God, and it was definitely a few more people besides God, but I doubt that God would have disapproved. You see, no one has told me this, but I can't help noticing that I got a bad demon chasing after me right after I ended my marriage with Lee, or that my great-grandma got that same bad demon chasing after her once she was widowed. I think that marriage offers a measure of protection for women. That's not to say that bad demons won't still be peeping in on married women, or plotting their demises, or their husband's demises, or their breakups, but I sense that there is a protective factor in marriage. I suspect that this is because demons will respect the claim that another man, even a living man, has on his wife. Well, I had already had a bad demon trying to kill me. So, when I had the notion in my head that God wanted me to marry S, well, at that point, marrying absolutely anyone would have been beneficial for me.
A admits that, at first, he was trying to influence S to get together with me, so that he could possess him --not harming him-- but, just living as him, to get to be with me again in some capacity. He saw quickly, however, that it would've been very wrong to do that. There was obviously a lot of influence involved in that situation. As I've said, it's as if I was under a spell. I was getting "Yes, yes, yes," but S was apparently getting some "No, no, no," along with the yeses. I have wondered if the reason for his crazy-seeming behavior towards me had something to do with a sense of foreboding about the situation.
When things didn't work out with S, A decided to try again, as himself; this time to drag me to Heaven. He presented himself as a saint to see if I might accept him if I thought that he was in Heaven, or that he was, at least, Heaven-bound; which he was willing to be, if that was what I wanted. He was, however, trying, once again, to convince me to end my life early, in one way or another. That was because Satan got involved in the situation again, which is also why A was nasty to me sometimes. As crazy as things got in November and December, however, they never got anywhere near as bad as they were the first time. I think that was because A is truly "cleaner" now than he used to be. He's still subject to demonic influence at times, but they can't ugly him up like they used to, because there's more light in him now. I did accept him; both as the saint he was pretending to be, and as the saint-in-the-making he finally admitted to being. That is the reason why he finally relented; and agreed to help me complete my last few tasks, and then take me to Heaven and marry me, instead of trying to hurry my demise.
No Place Like Home
So... A remains an earthbound spirit, in Purgatory, for now, for me.
I am, technically, a woman who was selected to be a bride for a demon. That demon will not get me, however, and I do not embrace the word "witch." Much of Wicca, as well as most New Age beliefs, seem wholesome and benign, especially to those who can't accept the church version of Christianity. To those people, these belief systems provide something to believe in, and perhaps add a bit of ritual to our lives. People seem to like that, and I understand that completely. They are, however, some of Satan's more recent attempts to appeal to wholesome, free-thinking people. To call oneself a witch means that you embrace the idea of being married to a demon; the ones who want us tortured to death, the ones who wanted us burned at the stake.
I am one of a special group of mediums who have really pissed Satan off, and are supposed to be dead already. Most people call us Schizophrenics.
As such, I will have attachments for the rest of my life; and if this group left me, the next ones I'd get would probably be far worse. A says that he will remain here for the rest of my life; to protect me, and because he doesn't want to go on without me. His friends have agreed to stay with us, and to protect me as well. So, we're an administrative team now; and I'm so glad. We've discussed changing our name from "Making Fun of Demons" to something less offensive to their kind; but so far, they've said to leave it as it is. They understand why I chose that name in the beginning, when they were making fun of me.
A and I are happy; given the circumstances. He regrets not being able to assist me more with chores, and with meeting my material needs, as he feels that a man should offer that sort of assistance to his betrothed. I feel terrible sometimes because he is still on this Earth --and still not always completely himself-- because of me. Of course we both regret not being able to touch each other; but we look forward to an eternity of that. We understand that our eternal love will be stronger because of our struggles here; and because of all we had to endure before we found our way back to each other. We still dream of procreating a race of teal-eyed people... someday. We've now decided that we might use birth control, for a few hundred years at least.
We seriously suspect that our relationships, the ones since he's been a spirit, are sort of an arranged marriage. Though no one has confirmed it, doing the math leads us to the conclusion that some bad demon really did look through my memories, searching for something to use, or a character to play, just as I'd always suspected. He found a deceased former love interest. He could have taken on that role himself, and he just might have... but, A was actually still here, as an earthbound spirit in Purgatory. So, why not just use him as bait? And then switch it up on her? We think that's what they, as in, that bad demon and Satan, tried to do. They influenced the two of us to start thinking of each other again. But... at the crucial moment, at the ceremony, I said A's name.
This second time... well, as I've said, I think that by then, the people looking out for me had probably decided that getting me married off to somebody --anybody-- was the best plan. S would've sufficed; but A probably screwed that up himself. Of course, I don't mind, because once I understood what had really happened, I knew that A had always been the best choice in the universe for me. So, this might have been a set up from both sides, but we are fine with that.
For now, we talk to each other on and off throughout the day, every day; and we both talk to the others in the group as well. We still get together for study sessions, and they always read my writing about this topic. A is usually close by; I see him sometimes, patrolling the parameters of the property. He says that he is still allowed to do that, because he has the right to defend his acquisition, and I am still his acquisition, regardless of where he plans to drag me. He can be right beside me. He can sleep anywhere in my house, even beside me in bed; but sleeping beside me is not the easiest thing for him, because he's not supposed to touch me. Blending energies is not allowable for us again, in this domain; not unless we go down the stairs together.
So, we sleep together short-distance now; sinking into slumber with our minds connected. I have not forgotten how he once terrorized me by rising up through the mattress, and kissing me through my pillowcase; but now we simply have pillow talk. We talk until we fall asleep; and then we share the same dreams. It's sweet. We still wake each other up sometimes; with our thoughts, or with a dream.
Sometimes we'll wake up in the middle of the night, after a particularly weird dream, and I'll ask, laughing,
"What the hell was that about?"
He'll answer, groggily,
"Oh... sorry, that was me... I'm not really sure..."
Having a mind connection like this is supposed to be a punishment; but for us, it has become something else.
It's a beautiful intimacy; one that I would never have imagined enjoying...
but I do.
So... A remains an earthbound spirit, in Purgatory, for now, for me.
I am, technically, a woman who was selected to be a bride for a demon. That demon will not get me, however, and I do not embrace the word "witch." Much of Wicca, as well as most New Age beliefs, seem wholesome and benign, especially to those who can't accept the church version of Christianity. To those people, these belief systems provide something to believe in, and perhaps add a bit of ritual to our lives. People seem to like that, and I understand that completely. They are, however, some of Satan's more recent attempts to appeal to wholesome, free-thinking people. To call oneself a witch means that you embrace the idea of being married to a demon; the ones who want us tortured to death, the ones who wanted us burned at the stake.
I am one of a special group of mediums who have really pissed Satan off, and are supposed to be dead already. Most people call us Schizophrenics.
As such, I will have attachments for the rest of my life; and if this group left me, the next ones I'd get would probably be far worse. A says that he will remain here for the rest of my life; to protect me, and because he doesn't want to go on without me. His friends have agreed to stay with us, and to protect me as well. So, we're an administrative team now; and I'm so glad. We've discussed changing our name from "Making Fun of Demons" to something less offensive to their kind; but so far, they've said to leave it as it is. They understand why I chose that name in the beginning, when they were making fun of me.
A and I are happy; given the circumstances. He regrets not being able to assist me more with chores, and with meeting my material needs, as he feels that a man should offer that sort of assistance to his betrothed. I feel terrible sometimes because he is still on this Earth --and still not always completely himself-- because of me. Of course we both regret not being able to touch each other; but we look forward to an eternity of that. We understand that our eternal love will be stronger because of our struggles here; and because of all we had to endure before we found our way back to each other. We still dream of procreating a race of teal-eyed people... someday. We've now decided that we might use birth control, for a few hundred years at least.
We seriously suspect that our relationships, the ones since he's been a spirit, are sort of an arranged marriage. Though no one has confirmed it, doing the math leads us to the conclusion that some bad demon really did look through my memories, searching for something to use, or a character to play, just as I'd always suspected. He found a deceased former love interest. He could have taken on that role himself, and he just might have... but, A was actually still here, as an earthbound spirit in Purgatory. So, why not just use him as bait? And then switch it up on her? We think that's what they, as in, that bad demon and Satan, tried to do. They influenced the two of us to start thinking of each other again. But... at the crucial moment, at the ceremony, I said A's name.
This second time... well, as I've said, I think that by then, the people looking out for me had probably decided that getting me married off to somebody --anybody-- was the best plan. S would've sufficed; but A probably screwed that up himself. Of course, I don't mind, because once I understood what had really happened, I knew that A had always been the best choice in the universe for me. So, this might have been a set up from both sides, but we are fine with that.
For now, we talk to each other on and off throughout the day, every day; and we both talk to the others in the group as well. We still get together for study sessions, and they always read my writing about this topic. A is usually close by; I see him sometimes, patrolling the parameters of the property. He says that he is still allowed to do that, because he has the right to defend his acquisition, and I am still his acquisition, regardless of where he plans to drag me. He can be right beside me. He can sleep anywhere in my house, even beside me in bed; but sleeping beside me is not the easiest thing for him, because he's not supposed to touch me. Blending energies is not allowable for us again, in this domain; not unless we go down the stairs together.
So, we sleep together short-distance now; sinking into slumber with our minds connected. I have not forgotten how he once terrorized me by rising up through the mattress, and kissing me through my pillowcase; but now we simply have pillow talk. We talk until we fall asleep; and then we share the same dreams. It's sweet. We still wake each other up sometimes; with our thoughts, or with a dream.
Sometimes we'll wake up in the middle of the night, after a particularly weird dream, and I'll ask, laughing,
"What the hell was that about?"
He'll answer, groggily,
"Oh... sorry, that was me... I'm not really sure..."
Having a mind connection like this is supposed to be a punishment; but for us, it has become something else.
It's a beautiful intimacy; one that I would never have imagined enjoying...
but I do.
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