Blending Energies (Saints & Haints, Chapter 33)

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Having a relationship with an earthbound spirit is entirely possible; but it's not going to be quite what you think it is, and it is nothing I'd advise. Regardless, it's something that has happened to me, and this post is about some of the better aspects of our situation. I feel that this is an important part of our story to share because, in mine and A's case, at least, it's a preview of our future together in Jesus' Kingdom.

Chapter 33
Blending Energies


After recovering those memories, and understanding that A had been one of the demons who tormented me, I knew that he had not made the trip to Heaven immediately after our chaotic wedding. I was still wondering about an important part of my initial possession which I couldn't recall, and which he had not played back for me. I still had no idea when it had switched from him to Johnny, or why. While reflecting on those things, I thought to myself,
"Satan punishes love."
Demonasty replied,
"Yeah. Congratulations on marrying the woman of your dreams! Now you get to torture her!"

One additional reason why my first book didn't include more about my relationship with A --as a spirit, before we were invaded and sabotaged-- is that, by the time I wrote anything about this topic at all, I wasn't in love with him anymore. I had been brainwashed into thinking that A had never really been here, that it had been someone else, Johnny, the entire time, and that Johnny had turned me over to Satan's henchmen. I had been completely convinced that our across-the-veil romance had been nothing but a hoax, orchestrated for the purpose of selling me to Satan. Therefore, even the parts I remembered clearly were nothing I ever wanted to think about again. That has changed now, however, so I will rectify the situation.

Truthfully, it was a beautiful experience. I've already described how he came to me when I called for him, by the riverside, and how he reached into my chest and touched my heart. I described in my first book how we danced in the kitchen. Though I didn't see him approaching, I felt it when he placed his hands on my waist and began swaying with me. I have described our yes/no communication system of hand kisses, which we used in those days, before I could hear him telepathically. I have also described the way I would hold my hands out, when I didn't know where he was, or didn't know if he was there, and he would come and take them. He would then place my hands on his heart. I felt entirely disadvantaged; blind and deaf. Yet, I felt loved, and never judged for my deficiencies. I reached out for him all the time! I couldn't usually see him, and I always wanted to know where he was. He was patient; tireless, even. He always came to me, regardless of how often I summoned him, simply by holding out my hands.

I did this even while driving. I don't think he was always with me in the beginning; and even after he was, I didn't know it for a while. One day I was sitting in my truck, on break at the factory, and just out of curiosity, I extended my hand. I was surprised when it was grasped. After that, I'd "check" every time I was driving to see if he was there, riding beside me. He always was. After a while, he started going to work with me too. While I was working at the factory, if I wanted to be reassured that he was there, I would simply lean backwards slightly. It was a gesture that no one else ever noticed. Whenever I leaned back, I would be gently pushed forward. I did that all night long during my shifts. Seriously, when I think about it from his perspective, this man spent a good six weeks or so reassuring a woman, with whom he could barely communicate, of his constant presence. It was beautiful to be cared for with such gentleness and devotion; especially considering that the relationship I was in before that had been abusive.

He never seemed bored or otherwise discontent with my slovenly ways and habits. I'll be honest, I spend most of my time at home sitting on my back porch smoking cigarettes. Even then, he would be there, sitting in the chair with me, holding me on his lap. He eventually began automatically reassuring me of his presence before I even asked, by pulling my hand back and kissing it, as soon as I sat down. We watched movies together, here, at home. He even chose what we would watch on Netflix sometimes, by squeezing my hand when I scrolled across the right selection on the menu. He would sit beside me on the couch, holding my hand, or lovingly stroking my forearm, or else we'd lie down and snuggle. On those occasions, we were very much like our younger selves at the movie theater; or like any couple having a date night.

He slept with me; beside me, most of the time. At first, I didn't know that he was sleeping beside me; but one night while lying in bed, I "checked," and sure enough, my hand was pulled over to rest on his heart. At first I didn't think about offering him a pillow, or sharing the bedspread. I suppose I assumed he didn't require those things. It's a humorous memory to us now, that one night I decided to be more courteous by offering him a pillow. Then I made sure the bedspread covered his side of the bed too. I asked him,
"Do you get cold?"
He answered yes, with a hand kiss.

The best thing, though, was when we blended our energies. One night he hovered over me, levitating lengthways, the way Superman flies. He solidified himself more than he ever had, up until that point. I could see him floating above me, as a transparent man outlined in neon green; as if he was made of glass, and some faint green light was reflecting off the contours of his features. I could see the intense look in his eyes, his furrowed brow, and the lines on his forehead. He leaned down and kissed me deeply, before dropping his entire body down into mine. It felt electrifying, for lack of a better word, like vibrations coursing all throughout my body. I had felt that sensation before, when he'd reached into my chest on the riverbank, but this time my entire body was involved; his legs were in my legs, his torso in my torso, our entire bodies enmeshed. I could actually feel the calves of his legs becoming more defined and solid as we experienced this togetherness. His phantom legs rose ever so slightly out of mine and then sank back into them, as we swam in each other's energy.

He was somehow both more solid than he'd ever been before, and yet, completely inside me at the same time. It seemed as if merging with me made him more corporeal; as if he was becoming more "alive," fleshing out, solidifying. Yet, somehow, he could still move through me, although I didn't perceive myself to be any less alive, or solid. I didn't understand it, but I didn't need to. It didn't matter who was who, or whether we were liquid or solid, it only mattered that we were one. It was healing for us both. The way it felt, emotionally, to be completely melted together, is indescribable; but if I had to try to describe it, I could only say that it felt like love.

We fell asleep that way; intertwined. I remember waking up the next morning and being amazed that I still felt him in me. His energy wasn't as intense anymore; it was calm and soothing, but I still felt him. He was asleep. I actually rolled over and rolled out of him. I felt the separation. I reached back to where we'd been lying, and I still felt him there.

There were other ways to blend our energies. Sometimes, while not taking a human shape, he'd enter my chest cavity, filling me up from inside with that intense, radiating energy for a short time, and then he'd come back out. He'd do that repeatedly, as many times as I wanted. It wasn't long after he introduced me to that method that I began requesting it. Other nights, when I was tired and sore from work, he gave me back massages. I would feel vibrations, and then I'd feel soothing sensations as the muscles along my spine began to contort.

I felt very safe with him beside me.

It was nothing short of a magical experience to learn about another human being, someone I already knew, but to learn about him in that very different form. It was nothing short of amazing how much love we shared without the need for words.