Wrong Jacksons (Saints & Haints, Chapter 25)

 Listen to audio

Visions are a large part of all mediumship connections, including a spirit's courtship of a living person.

But beware... are they showing themselves truthfully?

The true story of a psychic medium's spiritual awakening continues...

Chapter 25
Wrong Jacksons


One day at work, I got a message from A in a different style of communication. It wasn't even a concept, at first, it was simply an emotion; a feeling of beautiful love. It washed over me; and I felt calm, and tingling with happiness. Then a message came, which was not in words, and I didn't even understand all of it. It was like he was sending several ideas, and I wasn't sure how they connected. I was reminded of Johnny, and I felt that it was sort of a confession.
The best sense I could make of it, at the time, was that A was saying that what happened with Johnny was somehow his fault. In other words, my demons might have been right in their assessment that he was "to blame," in a way, for having started my problems with demons, because he had thought of me romantically back then as well; something that Johnny, when he came along, had easily picked up on. I was sitting in my truck on break when this happened, and I noticed an opening in the clouds that looked like a big eye.

I sent some loving energy back to him when I got home. I closed my eyes and sent him bubble hearts, and, just for fun, a heart-shaped brownie. Then, with my eyes closed, I saw two animations. One was a drawing of a figure like the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz. He was grabbing the hearts I'd sent. He placed them in his chest compartment, though, instead of eating them. The other animation was sort of like the chalk drawings, but with neon colors. It looked pixilated, like old school computer animation. A heart-shaped butterfly flew towards me, then landed on something and rubbed its feelers together. A big eye, like the one I had seen in the clouds earlier at work, settled near the butterfly, watching it. Then a big mouth gobbled it up. During these visions, I felt the message, reverberating through me,
"Stay with me, not them."

Afterwards, the female in my group of demons said,
"Good gosh... he is like a monster sometimes."
I interpreted that silent message to mean that, while I'm communicating with him, or perhaps all the time, I should try to ignore the constant jabbering of my demons and focus my attention on him. Ignoring them completely is, of course, impossible, as I've described; but I felt that he was offering a technique or a trick to help me, by giving me something else to focus on.

After that, I daydreamed, imagining the wedding we'd planned, and trying to wrap my head around all the possibilities that might be available to us. I made an additional suggestion:
"How about, instead of having separate bachelor and bachelorette parties, we combine them? We'll start off with the entire wedding party playing cards over a big breakfast. Then, we'll play live action Red Dead Redemption. We'll posse up, ride out, and fight each other all day, except instead of shooting our enemies with bullets, we'll shoot them with darts that will make them spout love poems for the rest of the day, or sing silly songs, or something. That way they'll still be in the game; but they'll only be embarrassing themselves, and won't be useful. After the battle, we'll have a marshmallow roast."
Then, addressing my demons, I said,
"Yes-- you demons can come to the marshmallow roast. At one point, I was planning to roast marshmallows over you, but now you're invited to roast marshmallows with us, okay?"

Addressing A once more, I continued,
"Then, once we're good and stuffed, we'll stagger into town and catch that vaudeville show. And after that, you can go on over to the hotel and get yourself a room, because, you know, you're not supposed to see the bride before the wedding."
I had a visualization in my mind, which was originally my own imagining, but it had become a shared fantasy. I could feel A and my demons watching this movie clip along with me. I envisioned the group of us merrily stumbling out of the theater, and A walking on across the street towards the hotel. He stopped and looked back at me, and we locked eyes. We stood frozen, in a longing gaze, until my demons finally tugged on my arm, pulling me away, and saying,
"Alright, come on. It's time to get rested up for your big day." 
"It will be the last night you'll ever have to sleep alone," I said to A, before turning to go with them.



November 14th, 2022
(from my journal)

Yesterday was weird. I attempted to go to Mass, but there was no parking, so I counted it as an honest effort and drove back home. As I was driving to church, however, I was listening to my romantic playlist, when I started seeing a vision of "A," allegedly. He was reclining on a bed, looking up blissfully, as if enjoying the music with me... or with us, rather, because, as always, my demons were there, riding along with me. I laughed and said, 
"I see that you're having a relaxing Sunday morning."
I wondered what he would be doing later, after I arrived at church. In response, he stood up, and was instantly dressed in elegant vintage attire. He stood as if facing a mirror; arms outstretched. The lacy cuffs of his shirtsleeves were bunched at the wrist beneath the sleeves of his coat. He straightened them, as he inspected his reflection. I thought to him,
"So... you'll get dressed later, but no hurry, I guess?" 

Then the song changed, and he motioned for me to come hither. I saw a woman in a fancy white dress, whom I understood was meant to be me. She came forward and began to waltz very formally with him. This vision was not a chalk drawing exactly, nor was it merely silhouettes, as some of his animated sequences had been. It was more realistic than that, yet still cartoon-like; a detailed drawing. I never saw his entire face clearly. I could participate in this animated dance, however. He could twirl me around, for example, and I could twirl him back. I know, because I tried it, just to see if it would work. It did; although I perceived a strange look from him when I did that.

"Middle school?" I suggested, and he changed the format of the dance to that classic stance where the boy's and the girl's bodies are very close, her arms around his neck, his arms around her waist. While we were dancing, I sent a heart to him, with a ribbon tied around it which came from my heart. He caught it, and then opened his Tin Man chest compartment and placed it inside. The ribbon tethered him to the real me, while he continued dancing with the cartoon version of me. He sent me a tethered heart back, and I visualized reaching out to grab it. I then visualized placing it in my own heart compartment. Then we had two ribbons tying us together. I was reminded of the message from the day before,
"Stay with me, not them."
If my thoughts started to drift as the dance continued, he would tug on the ribbons connecting our hearts, and as he did so, he seemed to "say," but not say,
"Stay with me."
We each tugged on the ribbons playfully several times, and finally he looped them around the back of my character's waist, using them to draw her closer to him.

Then the scene changed abruptly, and he was getting dressed again, as if something had been skipped over. He was, once again, standing before the mirror, adjusting his shirt sleeves. I decided, by controlling my avatar, to walk up behind him and place my hands on his shoulders. I controlled my character's movements, but not her appearance; which he had, I suppose, designed. My hair was swept up in a fancy up do, and I was still wearing the huge white ballgown, reminiscent of the costume from Labyrinth, which I knew to be his choice for my bridal attire. As I caressed his shoulders, he turned towards me and kissed me. Then he was grasping both sides of my face and kissing me deeply, while pushing me down onto a bed. Then he was on top of me, looking down at me. I sat up then, pushing him back as I did so; and then I tore open the front of his fancy shirt and coat, sliding them down his arms, while he looked delighted. Then he pushed me back down, and, hovering over me... he started singing along with the music we were listening to, much to my surprise.

He hopped up from the bed, fully dressed again, and began "singing," or lip-synching, rather, because I couldn't actually hear it, in an operatic and theatrical style. He over-acted his performance; leaping, and making sweeping, over-emphasized hand gestures.
My demons had been keeping quiet, but at that, one of them said,
"Good lord! Was there acid in that brownie you sent him?"
He performed three songs in such a manner; tugging at my heart-ribbon occasionally, which would reappear when needed. When I was almost at the church, he ended his concert, and showed me an animation of him driving a car. He pointed to his head as he drove.

Then I saw a big face in the sky. It was a handsome man's face, but not A's face. The middle of the face was transparent, as if that part of the drawing had been erased, so it wasn't a clearly recognizable image of anyone, but the hair, jawline, mouth, and basic face-shape were visible. I could tell, from just those features, that it was not a drawing of A's face. This didn't concern me that much at the time, because after all, the entire sequence had been an artistic rendering. It was a shared fantasy, and I therefore assumed that it was intended to be a representation of his face. I thought it was a little suspicious that he wouldn't draw himself more accurately, though. He smiled sweetly and waved, as if to say,
"Bye, beautiful."
That's the message I perceived, anyway; and I felt that he was saying goodbye for the time being because I was arriving at church.

He didn't "hang up the phone," though. I still felt his presence in my mind. Then I had a strange thought, and I wasn't sure where it was coming from. The thought was about doing something like astral projection; which I do not believe to be possible, for living mortals anyway. Still, I had a thought of leaving my body and traveling to visit him. It was only a passing thought. Immediately, however, as soon as I'd had that thought, as if in response to it, the big handsome man's face was in front of me again. I sensed that he was excited that I'd "taken that bait," that I'd shown even the slightest interest in that notion. He mouthed some words, and although I heard nothing, I felt them. He said,
"Is that what you want?
Then keep looking at me."

That scared me a little bit. It made my blood run cold, so to speak, for some reason I couldn't quite describe. There was a sternness in the way he had said it. I began to fear that I was not actually dreaming with A, and that I had just been dancing with, and tearing the clothes off the wrong man. The huge man, still right in front of me, shrugged his shoulders, and sent me a thought-transference,
"I mean, I don't know if it's possible, but we can try it."
I was quiet for a moment. Somewhere in there, in my confused, probably-controlled thoughts, I was thinking,
"He's lying, whoever he is."

I recalled his instructions,
"Keep looking at me," to myself, wondering what they meant, although he was no longer in front of me in the vision. As I was driving away from church again, the parking area having been full, I mentally recalled a photo of A that I have on my phone. Immediately, the man was back within my view. He looked disgustedly at my phone with A's photo on the screen, which had appeared beside him in the vision. He waved it away nonchalantly, shaking his head no, and indicating his face with a hand gesture. I perceived from those actions that he was telling me,
"No, not that guy. This guy."
Then I thought to myself,
"Oh, shit! He's a demon!"
(As in, a real one!)

The man waved his hands and shook his head no. He pointed to himself, then pointed up, and then pointed to my phone and shook his head no again, as if to say,
"No, no. I'm from Heaven, but I'm not that guy."
Then he pointed to his ear and pointed up.
"Listen to God," he seemed to be saying, and then he levitated up and flew away, like Superman.

I stopped paying any attention to him; angry at having been deceived. I don't think it mattered, though, because I think he stopped talking after that anyway. Later, however, while I was still on the long drive home, there was one more animation. A hand appeared, produced a pair of scissors, and cut our heart ribbons.

Upon arriving home, I decided to take a nap before work. When I woke up, I had the idea that it had all been a test. I said, to A,
"It was a test then? How did I do?"
I saw a little hand produce a piece of chalk, and write on a chalkboard,
"A+"
I thought to him,
"Wait. I thought you couldn't spell anything out?"
The little hand erased the plus and drew a minus.
I had to go to work.

On my break, I had the feeling that A was telling me concept-style, that it was, in fact, him in the vision that morning. I wasn't sure of anything more than that; but the incoming message was something about it being him, and that it was either a test or a joke. I thought to him,
"Well, it was a mean trick."