Somebody I Used To Know (Saints & Haints, Chapter 12)

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As I pondered the amazing events which had occured during my noontime meal for the remainder of the day, I began to doubt that I'd actually heard from Jesus and Mary Magdalene. As I began to doubt, it began to gnaw at me that I hadn't received a message of any sort from Mary Magdalene. I wondered why not. This may sound a bit stupid, but, it dawned on me that perhaps it was due to the language barrier. She would've spoken, and thought, in Arabic, and I speak only English and a smattering of school-Spanish; and I definitely only think in English. I had imagined that saints would speak some universal language which automatically gets translated or something; but, who knows? Maybe not? I was definitely getting the impression that language barriers, as well as mistranslations, are a device of Satan's, and designed to impede our understanding of the truth. Of course, not long after that, I became certain that the entire thing had been a trick. I had definitely not been myself. I had been "doped up" pretty good by whomever had done the impersonating. I still wondered about that language question, though.

In my previous book, I described my experience with being befriended at first, and then courted, by a ghost who, after a short time, flipped the switch, became evil, and then turned me over to an entire group of meaner demons who tortured me around the clock. This originally friendly spirit is referred to as Johnny in the text; which was the fake name he gave me once I discovered that he was an impostor. When I first met Johnny, he was pretending to be the ghost of a former love interest of mine. This former love interest remains unnamed in my first book, but from here on out, I will be referring to him simply as "A."

"A" had been on my mind quite a bit in the days preceding that conversation with "Jesus and Mary Magdalene." At that point, I was not certain that I'd ever made contact with the real A since his passing. There had been one picture I'd run across back in October of 2020; which I'd begun to think of as the first of the "internet memes with a message," although that phenomena hadn't occurred again until recently. That picture hadn't actually been a meme, though, or even a post on social media; it was simply an image I'd run across while doing a Google search, and it had caught my attention. It was a picture of a man standing at the front end of a car, bent forward, and making out with a woman who was laid back on the hood. It had immediately reminded me of A, because it was exactly like something we had done on one of our dates, while parked by the lake. It was also nothing I'd ever seen captured quite the same way in a photograph before. The image had struck a chord with me; and I had felt, at the time, that it was a message from him. Looking back, however, I'd become uncertain; and if I had been wrong about that, then I hadn't actually heard from him in years, not since before his passing. 

I suggest communicating with saints, and with loved ones on the other side, whether or not you hear anything back from them, often; and I do. I had restrained myself, however, from trying to make contact with A. I had offered an apology to him after everything that went down in 2021, all of which had occured 18 months --almost to the day-- before that day in August when I heard from "Jesus and Mary Magdalene." I hadn't felt that I'd received a response from A then; so for those 18 months, I'd left him alone. I felt bad about the shameful way his name had been used. Even though it wasn't my fault entirely, I still felt as though his name had been dragged through the mud, and I had played a part in it. I had felt that he was probably embarrassed by his association with me, and wouldn't want anything to do with me ever again. In fact, I had almost felt as if talking to him was forbidden.

Still, for some reason, one of the many thoughts I'd had swirling around my mind during that time was that I should talk to him. I had begun to feel that I shouldn't treat him that way; because none of it was his fault either, and he probably wasn't really that mad at me. So, I addressed my question about the language barrier to him. I asked him, in prayer, to please explain to me if saints can speak all languages, or how one would go about contacting a saint with a different native language. I wasn't expecting to hear anything back that day. It takes a few days sometimes. Still, immediately after asking that question, I got the thought sent back to me,
"Someone could always translate."
At the time, I wasn't certain who was sending that message. Usually when I get something "thought right back to me," it's coming from my demons, the ones who hang around me at all times; but I can recognize their personalities very well, and that message didn't seem to be coming from them. So I simply said,
"Thank you."

The next day, on August 15th, as soon as I arrived home that evening, I felt an energy-presence, and knew that someone was trying to communicate with me. I felt this energy in a certain area of my house, at first anyway. Also, I sensed excitement, as if this person had been waiting for me to get home so they could talk to me. I did not think, however, that this entity was physically present in my house. That's a very difficult thing to discern, but I just didn't think this was anyone who was actually present. I didn't think so with the Jesus conversation either. That had been more like a phone call than a visit, and this energy-presence felt the same way. I reason that I have simply learned to tell the difference because I have grown so accustomed to demons actually being  around me physically. What I perceived was that this was someone who had been watching my house, or perhaps monitoring my thoughts, from a distance, while awaiting my return home. Still, I was confused as to why I felt their energy coming from a specific location.

I didn't say anything, because there's no need; they'll begin the conversation. I waited for a moment, and then I received a thought-transference message:
"Make a video."
I knew then, also through thought-transference, that it was A, and I knew exactly what he meant by "make a video." It was his answer about what to do when there's a language barrier. He meant show, instead of tell; ask your questions in pictures. I thought that was a genius suggestion; but I didn't really care anymore, because I was so happy to be hearing from him!
"Oh! Okay, thank you!" I said, excitedly. Then, merely wanting to prolong the connection, I began making small talk. I asked him how he was doing; I apologized for not talking to him sooner, etc. As I continued talking to him, before receiving any more answers, I moved out to the back porch and sat down on my favorite chair.

Then I felt, what I described to him as,
"...a beautiful warm energy, like a smooth flame." That might not make sense to most people, but it's the phrase that came to mind. This beautiful energy enveloped me; I felt it wrapping around my shoulders, and running along my arms, like a hug. I closed my eyes, savoring the sensation. I didn't know at that time whether or not anything specific was being communicated to me, but I asked him why it takes so long for them to answer sometimes. One of my hands moved, not at my instruction. I attributed that to my demons, because that's something they do. They pull our strings, making puppets out of us. Then I heard,
"It's difficult to communicate with you,"
but that, too, had come from my demons.

With my eyes open, I saw a heart in the grass, in my back yard. It wasn't really there; there was no outline of broken grass, or differently-colored grass, or anything, yet I saw it. Next I saw, in my mind's eye, a glimpse of A and myself, years ago. We were standing in the kitchen at his parents' house on the night we first met. It was a real scene from the past, from his life. I remembered it well, because his Mom had walked in and looked at me very strangely. I had always wondered why, but I had assumed it was because he wasn't supposed to have a girl in the house that late at night. I saw the scene from my perspective. I was looking at him, instead of the other way around.

Then I closed my eyes and saw brown and purple swirls, and then I saw two hands, their colors ever-changing, waving. It looked exactly like what my demons had done to me more than a month before, when they'd made images in the swirling colors behind my eyelids. For some reason, however, I didn't think it was them doing it this time. I watched the purple morph into a heart, and then into heart-hands, exactly like the images my demons had made for me that night. I did understand, even under this hypnosis, or whatever it was, that A was showing me demon-imagery. I didn't know why, but I decided to trust it. 

"Oh? You're going to make me a video? Now?"
I asked him. I was amused.
"This will be fun," I thought.
I began a video stream to him by imagining hilarious cartoon animations that I could send to saints to ask for help. I imagined these animations, but I didn't actually see them in "my notebook." First I illustrated myself, grabbing my demons, stuffing them into a bucket, and then kicking it. Next I imagined me, punching my demons, and then flushing them down the toilet. Then I visualized myself grabbing one, clapping my hand over its mouth, holding it in a headlock while it struggled, and then shrugging my shoulders as if to ask,
'How? How do I shut them up?'
I asked him, "How's that?"
I didn't get a response though.

This was all very hard to remember afterwards; and I wouldn't recall most of it if I hadn't immediately written about it in my journal. Even then, it was difficult to remember the order in which the images were shown to me. I remember that at some point early on, I wanted a cigarette, but I felt that it would be rude of me to smoke while this communication was going on. He showed me a little hand holding a cigarette, and I understood that it meant,
"Go ahead and smoke."
So I lit up a cigarette, and closed my eyes once more.

More hearts appeared, and I said, flirtatiously,
"Oh? You send me hearts? Well, I send you hearts..."
I "sent" him back a stream of rainbow-hued, bubble-hearts. What I mean is that, I "thought" them; I tried to envision these hearts forming and drifting up to him, but I think he must have actually "drawn" them in for me, because I seemed to be having a hard time making anything appear in my notebook. I watched the hearts form and float upwards. I saw hands catching the hearts; and then a portion of a man, from the lower half of his face to his shoulders and upper torso, appeared in the upper left corner of my "field of vision" (although my eyes were closed). He shimmered in rainbow colors like the two hands had at the beginning. He caught the hearts with his mouth, eating them up. I laughed. It still seemed that I couldn't draw the hearts myself, though; or at least, I was having a very difficult time doing so. I became more certain that he must've been crafting them for me as I designed them in my mind. I'd say, for example, either out loud or in my mind,
"Here's a purple glittery one," and it would appear, eventually. At one point, I exclaimed,
"Oh! This must be your notebook!"
I'm not certain that was the right explanation though. We spent a few more minutes just sending each other hearts. My demons were calmly watching all this through their connection to my mind. One of them commented,
"Are you serious? You are not that bad of a beauty queen if you've got saints, and demons, and humans, all making you heart videos in their mind-thoughts." 

Then A started showing me other images, and this is the part where it becomes difficult to remember the correct order. These images were drawings, of various colors, but they looked like either chalk drawings or silhouettes. They would form out of the blobs of color or the shapes and squiggly lines behind my eyelids. The first thing I saw was water. There were waves, as if I was in the water, beneath the surface. Then there was a man in a suit of armor, floating in the water. He looked dead, or unconscious. He was upright, though; his head and shoulders above the surface. He was not floating on his back or his face. Then there was a cave, and my vantage point was from inside it. The cave opened out into the ocean. Through the opening, I saw a little sail boat. I wasn't sure what that series of images meant, because A's death had nothing to do with drowning, or boating, or anything like that. I assumed it was some metaphor for death. 

He showed me an eye, with fingers encircling it, as if to signify glasses or goggles, and then the hand came down towards me. I understood that to mean,
"Watching you."
Next he showed me levers, gears, and working mechanical parts. As he showed me these things, if I didn't immediately understand them, I guessed; as one does when playing charades or Pictionary. I thought the gears must mean "factory," since I was working at a factory when my demon infestation began. So, I guessed,
"Factory. You've been watching me... since I worked at the factory?"
The partial-man pointed at me, gun-barrel style, as if to say,
"You got it."
Sometimes he would seemingly acknowledge that my guess was right; but other times, he'd either alter the picture, or simply not respond.

After that, I was shown the sail boat sailing towards the cave. I felt the words,
"That boat came back."
There was a lot of emphasis on that statement, especially on the word "back," as if it should be underlined. Next, I think, I saw two men with swords. They were fighting together, back to back, on the same team. I didn't see their opponents; but they were both posed in action stances, swords drawn, ready for battle. It might have been thought-transference, or it might have only been me, thinking backwards through the sequence of events; but for whatever reason, when I saw that image, I thought about the very first night that I was ever freaked out by the paranormal.

To explain briefly, it was my third EVP recording session, in December 2020. Gone were the friendly voices I'd heard in the earlier recordings. That time, I had picked up some obviously very demonic voices. It was the first time I'd ever been frightened by anything unseen. I live alone, way out in the country, by the way; and all of these sessions had been at my house. That doesn't actually matter, because people are haunted much more often than places, but still, the country darkness lends itself appropriately to the creepiness of the situation, as does the isolation.

That night, afraid to re-enter my bedroom, I was sitting on my kitchen floor, literally rocking myself back and forth, and wondering what to do, when I got a Facebook message from a coworker. I replied, telling her the entire story about the creepy EVPs. Then she had shocked me nearly to death by replying that she has visions, and she had just had a vision about me. She said that I was safe; because there were two men fighting to protect me. After she said that, I had immediately thought of A, and one of my great-grandfathers.

Therefore, my Pictionary-guess for the image of the two men with swords was,
"That vision. Two men fighting for me..."
A showed me a hammer hitting a nail.
"She nailed it. You and my great-grandpa?" I asked.
I felt a pause then, and after a moment, his response was a drawing of an icecream cone, followed by a drawing of white wings. Those symbols wouldn't have the same connotation for anyone besides myself; but I knew that the icecream cone meant Saint Michael. It was a reference to something that was said when Daisy died. It was a completely understandable reference, but not one that was pleasant for me to recall. Long story short, as Daisy lay dying, one of my demons told me that Saint Michael would come and get her; and not only that, but he'd stop and buy her an icecream cone on the way to Heaven.
"You and Saint Michael, then?" I'd asked.
Again, there seemed to be a confirmation. 

The next thing A showed me was a creepy picture, which I didn't understand, and there was no thought-transference to explain it. It looked like a birth canal, with a big centipede coming out of it. What I mean is, it wasn't a vagina. It was a tube or something, but there was something else I saw, something I can't quite remember, that made me think of birth, specifically. The centipede had a smiley face. I didn't know what to make of that, but I assumed that it was a reference to demonic possession, or to sexual assault from a demon.

He showed me a car after that, then the inside of a car, and a man driving, as if I were in the passenger's seat. It looked like my old car, the one I had as a teenager; I recognized the shape of the windows. I thought he was making a reference to a specific date we went on a long time ago, in that car; the night we parked by the lake. I thought he was showing me himself, driving my car, all those years ago. I remember thinking,
"Did he drive that night, though? I thought I drove..."
I dismissed that thought, however, deciding that whichever one of us drove that night surely wasn't an important detail. The next thing he showed me was a tower; like the one on the tarot card. I thought that was odd. I really wasn't expecting to see a tarot card, but since I had recently been doing tarot readings, I took it as a sign that he must've been watching me recently. Then I remembered the meaning of The Tower card; a life-changing moment, or something crashing down.

Next there was a drawing of a woman with long hair, whom I recognized to be myself in my youth. She had a heart, like a Valentine's Day heart, not the internal organ, with a keyhole in it, on her chest. She had a smile on her face, and her image moved backwards and away into the distance. I thought that he must have been referencing the fact that I actually did move out of town for a while back then, and it was one of the things that broke us up. I assumed that by referencing those events, he was saying that it was a life-changing experience for him, or that I had taken his heart when I left.

The next illustration was of a man putting on a helmet and getting into a spaceship. I took that as a bit of a joke. I laughed, and said,
"You got in a spaceship and came to whoop these demons?"
I don't think I got an exact confirmation about that one though. The next thing I saw was waves and water again. Then there was a man with a sword, standing at the head of a gathering. Then a hand reaching up from the water, grasping the arm of the man with the sword. Then a male figure was clinging to the man with the sword, as if pleading with him.
I guessed,
"You were in the water... floating, dreaming, but you heard that I was in trouble, and you went to Saint Michael and begged him to help me?"
Again, he pointed to me; the gesture I had been interpreting as,
"You got it."
I said,
"Thank you. I'm sorry I was so stupid that you had to do that, but thank you."
He showed me a foot and leg, and a kicking motion.
I asked,
"Did you kick me? For what? Being stupid?"
Then I understood, that no, he meant that he kicked them.

The next images he drew for me were of a hand reaching down from Heaven and picking up a shiny gold ring, followed by an image of a man wearing sunglasses. Then there was a man in a tuxedo, and then a stained glass window behind a priest. I certainly knew what he was referencing, but I didn't know exactly what he was trying to say. He was referring, of course, to Johnny asking me to marry him; which was just about the last thing Johnny did before admitting that he was not, in fact, A. I was afraid to think what I was truly thinking. It was too reminiscent of previous events, but what I really felt he was "saying" was something along the lines of,
"Yeah, I saw all that. And, I was kinda looking down and thinking, 'Oooh... Yes, I'll marry you.'"
Something like that.

I decided to ignore the possible marriage proposal embedded within those pictures, and to interpret them as simply meaning that he saw it. So, I responded, a little embarrassedly,
"Oh. You saw that stuff. Look... I'm sorry. I was very under the influence."
I showed him drills drilling into both sides of my head, and demons jabbering on either side of me, and me shrugging my shoulders.
There was no response for a moment.
I continued,
"Well... I guess you're not too mad... because you helped me."
Maybe I imagined it, or maybe it was empathy, but I sensed disappointment.

Then, after a brief pause, pictures began flowing again. He showed me a sword. It formed, and then the hilt turned towards me. I asked,
"You're giving me the sword?"
He didn't confirm. He drew a white dove, and it flew towards me. Then I saw a white feather being dropped from way up high to the ground below. Those images I didn't question, assuming that they represented Heaven watching over me. Then he showed me a glowing ball which was moving away from me, lights fading, and an ornate gate closing. It seemed to be a question, though. I understood, through thought-transference, that it meant,
"Do you want me to go?"
I thought he was asking if I wanted to "end the call."
I wanted to stay connected for as long as possible, but I didn't know if I should keep him, and I didn't know what else he would want to talk about. So, in response, I said,
"No, not really. Well, go if you have to, but call back some time."

He remained connected for a while longer.
He showed me the man in the spaceship again, and then a hand holding a light saber as it extended for battle, and a big triangular-shaped mass. These were silhouettes, though, so it took me a while to recognize Jabba the Hutt. Well, considering the other Star Wars references, I thought that was what it was supposed to be. Although I couldn't see Princess Leia lying there in her metal bikini, it reminded me of that scene, the one on the movie posters for Return of the Jedi. I didn't know what to make of that at the time, but later that night, after analyzing it for a while, I read that message as,
"Save the Princess."

The next thing that A showed me might require some explanation, because some of my readers may be too young, or not nerdy enough to get the reference. There was a TV show in the late 90s called "Mystery Science Theater 3000." It was one of those shows where they watch old movies and make fun of them. On each episode, the goofy little hosts, which were a human, a robot, and a... something else, would watch a movie; and as the movie played, a frame came up on the screen which simulated sitting behind them at a theater. You could see the black silhouettes of theater seats, as well as the silhouettes of their three little heads, bobbing at the bottom of the screen.

Well, I created a digital drawing one day of something like that; except it was a face with hollow eyes, and little demon heads popping up from the bottoms of the eye holes. I drew that because, that's how this feels sometimes (having demons, a.k.a. being a psychic medium). They have actually done something similar to that at times. Sometimes I'll almost "see" two little demons in the bottom of my field of vision. They just kind of sit there, making ridiculous commentary about everything.

Anyway, twice during this interaction, once at this point, and once at another time, I was shown my drawing. I understood this to mean,
"Demons are watching this video too,"
or,
"I'd say more, if demons weren't watching."

 

A drew some more hearts after that. I tried to visualize another purple glittery heart for him, but I couldn't "draw" it, and apparently, he didn't draw it for me. I tried to draw a celtic cross for him, but I couldn't draw that either. I wondered if he'd somehow blocked me from drawing, because demons were watching, or so that they wouldn't be able to pop up and draw something.

He showed me a landscape scene with sunshine. I immediately thought,
"Beautiful day."
Then two people were entering the scene, as if one was being guided by the other. I immediately understood that to mean,
"It'll be a beautiful day when you get here."
I saw the two people hug. I visualized hugging him back.

He showed me a pegasus. There was no thought-transference; no explanation. I had recently been watching Clash of the Titans, though, so I took that to mean that he knew that, because he'd been watching over me. I asked him if communicating in this way made him tired. That was probably a stupid question. He showed me a ball moving away from me. I understood that to mean,
"No. It makes you tired."
Then a cross appeared, but it wasn't the one I had imagined; it was a different cross, not a celtic one.

In what seemed like an afterthought...
(I sensed this feeling of,
'Oh, yeah, I almost forgot...'),
he showed me a house. It was a white house with black shutters and a long front porch. It's not a house that I know of on this Earth, but I did recognize it; from my experiment with the Spirit Mirror app, in December of 2020. This app, which is similar to a strobe light effect, is used for communicating with spirits. The idea is to record a video of the flashing light with another device, and then play the video back frame-by-frame, looking for images which spirits may have made by manipulating the light. It actually worked; I saw several images, and one of them was the house that A was showing me. I could never quite get a screen capture of it, though. In retrospect, I realize that it may have been partially a vision; because I did see it, but then it seemed that I couldn't find it again. I have also theorized that it may have been something that was there, but could only be seen at a certain speed; something that a single screenshot would never capture.

In the vision I was currently being shown, I didn't see either of us enter the house, but after that first flash of the porch area, my vantage point was from inside. The outside of the house looked photorealistic; but the inside was made of chalk drawings. I was moving down a hallway, passing beneath archways that looked like old-fashioned door facings. There was an apple, and a bookshelf. A book floated off the shelf. The book had a zippered cover, like my Catholic Bible. It opened; and, like a popup in a kid's book, something like a crumpled wad of papers sprang from the center. The crumpled papers sparkled. I didn't know what to make of that; and he didn't explain it.

The next thing I saw was grains of sand slipping through someone's fingers, and then wings, and a guitar. A played guitar here on Earth, and I wasn't surprised to learn that he still does. The guitar he showed me, however, was not his; but rather it was my own huge, old jazz guitar which once belonged to my grandfather. I can't even play it. I thought it was a bit odd that he would show me my guitar, when I would have recognized his Stratocaster. I assumed that he had made that choice as a way of letting me know how closely he kept watch over me.

My guess about this group of pictures was,
"Time? Time to go play guitar?"
I assumed that it was meant as a goodbye.
The next image I saw was that of two men walking away from me. I understood them to be A and Saint Michael. A was looking back at me over his shoulder. I asked,
"Will you come back sometime?"
What I really meant was, "call back" sometime. His only answer was a golden heart, and then angels flying from him towards me.



And then the notebook was blank.