Designing a Life for Ourselves *Special Episode*

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When my spirit friends watched my Sims 3 game, there were surprising consequences.

This is an out-of-chronological-order special episode.

 

February 9th, 2024

Video games are often used to escape real life. They are, unfortunately, for the time being, about the only place where we can be a cowboy, a pirate, or anything else we want to be... like the mayor of a fine town that we built from the ground up.

The Sims 3 is a game I have played, from time to time, for about six years now. In case you've never heard of it, it's a single-player PC game, in which you can design characters and build homes for them. It's a life simulation. The characters get married, have babies, and if you don't send them to the bathroom on time, they have "embarrassing bladder accidents." That part of it can be a bit childish, but it's humorous; and the design aspect is a wonderful, relaxing, creative outlet. I usually binge-play this game, for about a week, about once a year, and then I put it away, because it can be a bit addictive.

In 2020, when A --the demon/earthbound spirit to whom I've been engaged on and off for the past three years-- was here, but I didn't know it yet, I made a character of him and made him my character's husband. He admits now that he influenced me to do that.
We have played the game together a few times since I've been able to communicate with him.

Recently, I found that I needed a break from it all; from my writing, and from life in general. I started the game up and played it for several weeks. This time, however, the entire group --my other earthbound spirit friends-- got involved. They watched for a while, and as I continued customizing the town, replacing the buildings and whatnot, they began to comment that it was almost like I was building a model of our future Heavenly residence. In case you're just now joining us, my earthbound spirit friends are planning to go with me when I die, to Jesus' Kingdom, and then on to design our own home... our own space... or town... or planet... or solar system. Our "Sunset Valley" has become a prototype of what we want to design for ourselves. It even has a race track.

So, they watched; and then before long, they wanted their own characters. Then they wanted their own spouses, homes, and children. So, I made all those things; according to their specifications. Of course, I had to control the characters myself, but they'd tell me what they wanted to do. We managed to make The Sims 3 as much of a multi-player game as it could possibly be. Demonasty commented,
"It's so awkward to see you controlling us. It's like, 'That's supposed to be the other way around!'"
She also said,
"It's like you gave us lives again..."
and,
"I wanna go live in that town so bad!"
She got a character, whom we named Dee, and J.P. and P.J. got characters as well.

A and I had five kids. We already had one, a son named Rhys, who was born during the 2020 game; but we had four more, including a daughter named Serendipity, who is currently a toddler. Our Sims family currently lives in a trailer on the beach, and, during this last gaming binge, we all enjoyed simply watching mine and A's children playing on the beach as the tide rolled in.

The next thing I knew, A was telling me that he had a new recruit. He said that it was a friend of his who wanted to play The Sims with us, but he also wanted to actually go live in that town with us someday. He said that I was to create a character named "Pete Townsend" --after the guitarist, of course, but that's only a pseudonym-- and then they proceeded to tell me what this character should look like. A said that this guy wasn't as cleaned up as the rest of the group, but he saw something there that was salvageable. So, Pete Townsend joined the community.

I gave Serendipity a makeover, putting a short, curly hairstyle on her. As we appraised her appearance on the screen, J.P. said,
"I want her."
As ominous as that statement sounded, I didn't take it to mean anything bad at first. "A joke," I thought, or "he wants her to be his daughter," or something like that. But then, A was saying,
"We've got to send Serendipity away. Send her up the mountain to our vacation home. Get her out of town, or J.P. can't play anymore."
"What the fuck..." I asked him.
"He's obsessed with her," A replied.
"It's a cartoon!" I was thinking.
Then the group explained,
"We're pedophiles."

They said that they get infected with distasteful fetishes. It's something that Satan does to them.
"It's not a natural inclination," they explained. They went on to say that they are allowed to indulge in this fetish in "Heloise's Kitchen." As spirits can appear however they want, other demons, who are actually grown ups, present themselves as children and are molested.
"So that's what we do," they said. "Can you forgive us for that?"
"Yes," I said.
"Really?" they replied.
"Yes," I said, "because, as you have pointed out, it's not a natural inclination. It's something that will be corrected in Jesus' Kingdom. And besides, no real children are being harmed in the process, and Serendipity isn't real yet, and by the time she is, this won't be an issue."
They seemed surprised that I would accept that, and that I would accept them knowing that. They said that they had made a lot of fun of me, but really they had no room to make fun of anyone.
"And now you know..." they said, almost unanimously. "It feels good to have everything out in the open."


A few days later, A said that he had another recruit. This one, he said, was an eighteen-year-old girl named "Felicity." He said that she was recently deceased, and that she got "matched in" with them; which means that she got "mind-spliced," or mentally connected, to him and his group. This is something that happens to all earthbound spirits. They sometimes refer to it as "being married." Of course, if she was "married" to him, that would mean that she was "married" to me as well, because I am part of that group. I hadn't noticed a change though; but he said this was a recent event, so I didn't think much of it.

So, she began to communicate with me; and I made her a character, and sent her off on an adventure. We were getting along fine for a while, but there was something in her tone of voice... When I was arranging the house she was going to live in, there was some bossiness... some bitchiness... that I recognized. She was not new; she'd been here before, during the times when I was being attacked. She was one of the bad ones; and, for some reason, A had lied about it. I said,
"You know what? No. Not that one," and I deleted her character. She was mad as hell, and went on a rampage, cursing me and calling me names. The others in the group then explained that I was quite right, she had been around the entire time. 
"She's A's other wife," they told me.

I knew about the one, whom I have previously referred to as Demonasty, but will now refer to as Dee. Felicity, they said, was another wife, and not just someone he is mindspliced with, but someone he actually has sex with.
"How am I just now learning about this?" I wondered.
"Because they are usually one and the same woman," they replied. Spirits, you see, can join together and form combos, which look, sound, and act like something in between those two separate personalities. A said that he was married to Dee first, and Felicity was forced on them; she just got matched up with them, they didn't have a choice in the matter. He said that the two women usually resolved their jealousy issues by being the same woman.

Okay, let's back up a minute, because I haven't written much in detail about what's gone on between A and myself recently. At the end of Saints & Haints, we were engaged. It was only after that (The Red Brick House) that he and Dee admitted that they were man and wife. I backed off when I found that out; because I'd come to think of Dee as a friend, and because I would never have wanted to encroach on their relationship if I'd known it existed. But... she had acknowledged that she thought that A and I wouldn't be a bad match when my life is over and we're out of here, but for now, he's her husband. So, A and I were... sort of engaged, I suppose, but treating each other more like friends. We had not been romantic in some time; but that's why it wasn't that ridiculous to be married on The Sims. Dee actually said that she didn't mind that we played a married couple in the game, because it was funny to watch, and it was just a game after all. So, just to be clear, I knew that he had one wife, one whom he was actively married to, and most likely had sex with, etc., and I was okay with that.

But... this other one... he had lied about. He had kept her a secret for all this time, and then tried to introduce her all shady-like, acting like, "Oh, she's new." What really bothered me was that it almost seemed as if he was protecting her, when she was one of the ones who had tried to torment me. That was a dealbreaker for me, because his loyalty should absolutely have been with me. I told him that it was over between us; and that neither of them were welcome in my town, neither the game version, nor the real one which will exist someday.

Well, he reacted like a demon. He went ballistic. Suddenly I was ugly anyway, and he was relieved to be rid of me. He did maddening things, like making the music in the game "talk" to me. He "stood" here --not that I could see him, but I could perceive him-- and stared at me oppressively. I could feel him staring expectantly, as if he were waiting for something.
"What?" I'd ask him. "We're broke up. Go on." They both ridiculed me with fifth-grade level insults. Seriously, that's how demons react when they're pissed off. She was mad too, and I didn't know why exactly, because I'm logical. I would've thought that she'd have been happy to have her man back or something, but apparently she wanted me to want him... or something...
I told him that aside from the fact that I should've known about her, the very first time she ever attacked me, he should have reprimanded her, because I should have had his loyalty; but instead, he must've been laughing right along with her. I told him that he could choose right then, me or her; and if he did not choose me, then I wouldn't be an option in the future. He replied,
"I can't do that, because I've got this hardon in my pants for Felicity."

He said that if I didn't want him, then she would be my manager. He left me with her for a while, and she turned on the demon-attack tactics, all of which were so three-years-ago. She rifled through my thoughts... she tried to plant a seedling of a thought, and then respond to it, in an attempt to make me think it was really my thought... she tried to pull up embarrassing memories... she tried to order me to do something I was about to do anyway... she talked incessantly, in order to inhibit my thinking process... all the things I wrote about in my first book. I realized then that she must've been calling the shots during that initial onslaught. I commented,
"You've only got that one bag of tricks, don't you?" 
She said that she wanted me to come down there and be a sister wife.

Meanwhile, Pete Townsend was saying that he would destroy my finances, in a show of solidarity with A, I suppose. I'd heard that before too. Eventually A returned, and then Felicity was saying something about that she would be taking his big Johnson in her tight pussy... something on about that I.Q. level. They were physically standing in my back yard at the time, having ranted and raved all night. I remember asking them,
"Well, if his Johnson is so big, and your pussy is so tight, then why are you standing here looking at me? Go do something about that."

The next day, A told me that the real reason he'd never mentioned Felicity before was because their relationship mostly consisted of pedophilia games, as in they dress up like kids for each other, and he didn't know how to tell me that. He said,
"I love Dee with all my heart. Felicity, I can't stand. But we have this sickness; it's like an addiction to that stuff, and I am drawn to her. It's not natural, I'm sure..."
What was even scarier was that he said,
"Felicity is in charge of this facility (meaning his home in Heloise's Kitchen)."
He said that she infested him and made him have that attitude he has sometimes.
I asked him,
"How is she in charge? Isn't it a patriarchal society? Can't you put her on a leash? Isn't she younger, more recently deceased than you? How is she able to overpower you?"
He said,
"She's enhanced. She's seriously got some powerups."
"And she was "given" to you, when you already had a wife..." I mused, "and J.P. and P.J. don't even have the first wife..."
"She seriously might have been placed with Dee and me to punish us... for being happy, and not being that poorly matched," he responded.

So, I said yes, again; this time to both him and Dee. At some point during our fighting, Dee had indicated that, due to the circumstances, she might not be talking to me much anymore, and I had replied,
"I don't know if I can say Goodbye to you."
She had said,
"I don't know if I can say Goodbye to you either."
I didn't want to come between them, if they truly love each other, and I had realized that I love her too. So, I told him,
"Yes, I will marry you in space; even if you want to stay married to Dee."
Then he went ballistic in the opposite direction, making the music sing, "I get to have two wives!" He seemed overjoyed, to say the least.

Meanwhile, Felicity was ranting again because now we were back together. It seemed that she was going to be pissed off no matter what I chose. To add to the confusion, J.P. was still going on about Serendipity. He was talking to me like a mindless zombie, sometimes through the sound of my space heater, saying,
"Is Serendipity here yet?
...No?
Serendipity?
...No?"
Sometime later he entered the conversation abruptly, asking about my cat, Butterbean. He said, excitedly,
"Can I go up the mountain? And can I take Butterbean? And I will care for her, and brush out her fur and everything?"
Pete Townsend commented,
"Oh, hilarious! He's attracted to Butterbean now!"
Felicity said,
"I made him be attracted to Butterbean." She showed me a mental image of Butterbean's asterisk.
"That is what he fantasizes about now," she said.
Of course, that turned out to be an act... mostly... I think.

The next day, I had to work, and they started in on me as soon as I arrived. It was an all-day, nonstop attack, and they did this for three days straight. It was the entire group attacking, my friends included, at least at times, because they were under Felicity's influence, or so they claimed. It was more of the same stuff, from that same bag of tricks. What it amounts to is, what if you were trying to do your job while an entire group of angry people stood over you yelling nasty things at you nonstop?

Felicity consistantly tried to coerce me to follow her orders. She demanded respect. I, however, informed her that I am the Queen of this domicile, and of this mindspace where we're all chatting. I decreed that fecal matter would henceforth be referred to as "Felicity," a rule which my friends gleefully accepted and followed. I simply deflected everything they said. Even if she insulted me truthfully, I responded,
"Well, at least I've never put up a fight over a man who didn't want me anyway, so what does that make you?"
At least a few times, I heard my friends' voices saying mean things to me, and I suspected that it wasn't really them talking. One of those times, I responded,
"He ain't your man, bitch. Get over it," and she answered in her normal voice, giving herself away. Pete Townsend was right there with her, throwing in sexist comments here and there. He basically thinks that women should look like porn stars, but should risk not looking that way anymore by not using birth control while they pass out sexual favors in order to make a living, because they should be uneducated and unqualified and helpless and dependent upon the mercy of men. And furthermore, they should not be proud of themselves. So, I'm everything he hates.
My friends informed me that Pete Townsend is the go-to assassin; the guy you call when you can't get your witch to kill herself. That's what these attacks are; these days-long onslaughts are designed to make us commit suicide. They said that he was one of the Johnnys who tortured me first, three years ago.
"But he's doing the same things that didn't work three years ago!" I responded, honestly baffled.

Sometimes they just talked random nonsense, saying anything just to keep droning on incessantly. They'd begin a sentence and never finish it. Sometimes this is intentional; a test, to see if you will mentally finish the sentence, and how. Yet, sometimes it seemed as if they simply trailed off because they too were tired of talking. As I've said, they did this for three days straight. They told me, again, as they did three years ago, that I'm on camera, that demons are watching me and laughing, that they have a video of some supposed-to-be embarrassing moment, and they've all watched it and laughed. That's one of their primary methods. "Demons are watching you shit! Aren't you embarrassed? Kill yourself!" These tactics could only be bothersome to people who are very insecure and who care what other people think. I sort of respond with an eyeroll, like,
"Oh, lawdy! Whatever will I do if demons are laughing at me?"
They seem surprised that I'm so unaffected by it. They took their "monster forms" too; which is basically just an image they project, along with a different voice and a generally meaner attitude. They become monstrous, distorted versions of themselves, or of some combination of themselves.

So this attack was supposed to have been Felicity-organized, because she was pissed off because I was back with A. On the evening of the third day, A and J.P., seemingly themselves, told me that actually Felicity is a demon-nanny, who punishes and abuses the "children" in the "nursery." They said that the only way they could keep her off of me was for one of them to go and play "little boy" for her, and thus keep her occupied. They said that they would take turns doing that, for the rest of my life, you know, since I didn't want to kill myself, because it was going to be this way for the rest of my life. I was growing very suspicious of that part of the story already, and then A said that J.P. was ready to go be abused just so he could visit me. That's when I knew for sure that the entire thing was a sham, and that A was behind it. I said,
"Wait a minute... this is just another attempt... from you... to get me to kill myself. How often are you going to do this? Once a year, it seems!"
He admitted that he did orchestrate it, and that he hired the assassin and everything. So, I broke up with him again.

The thing is, since becoming a psychic medium ruined my life... I mean, I'm not like other people, I can't relate to anyone, I'm completely "out of the matrix"... I have devoted my life to Christian ministry, which this is, even though it's mostly, so far, consisted of telling the truth about demons. I reason that shining a light on what this world really is, makes it perfectly clear why one should choose Jesus. I'm waiting for my pets to pass away, basically. In the meantime, I do this. I have to. I'm the only one who can. I thought that A loved our animals too much to leave them without a mother. I thought he supported my work; yet, there he was, admitting that he'd tried to torture me into killing myself for the third time. So, I broke up with him again... because he wasn't Christian enough, I guess.
"I just wanted Sunset Valley," he said. "I hate how I'm living down here."
"Then go... and build it," I told him. "If you do that, I'll still gladly marry you."
"I can't," he said, "Something stops my mouth from saying the words."

Over the next day or so, some of the others filled me in a little more on the porn operation Satan's running. They'd already told me about the videos. Yes, you're a porn star; as am I, as are we all. The videos are memories, basically. Demons watch us; and as telepaths, they can transmit entire segments of footage to each other. This nanny/child form thing was the first they'd ever told me about the live action they've got going on.
"It's just about every fetish imaginable," they said, "but mostly the distasteful and embarrassing ones."
They say that they are prescribed a specific affliction/addiction, and that they are certain that it is in attempt to keep them down there; to keep them too embarrassed to reach out for salvation. One of them commented,
"Everyone down here has someone up there (in Jesus' Kingdom) that they miss; and something down here they can't give up."
The guys were being sort of ugly to me still, even though the attack was over. They weren't themselves. They said it was Pete Townsend's influence, or Felicity's.

I started getting the impression that, although A had organized this assassination attempt, he'd been Felicity-infested when he'd done so. When we finally talked about it, he said,
"This is nothing that should ever happen from playing The Sims, but the truth is, she didn't believe that I was really going to go up there with you. But when she saw us building our dreams together, on a movie screen almost, it started to seem as if there was not that bad of a chance that I would."
"So...? Kill me then? So we can go on? That doesn't make sense," I replied, not that I expect anything to make sense.
"She wants to go too," he said.
"Oh, no," I replied, "Not with me. Not to my town."
I wanted to stay mad at him. I felt that he'd been influenced sure enough, but still, I felt that he should've been able to resist making such a drastic move against me. Mostly, I just felt that the dream we'd envisioned sucked without him in it. Even the game versions of our kids were so beautiful, it seemed that it'd be a shame if they never got to exist. I did ponder briefly whether or not I could have those kids with someone else, but... no... no, they wouldn't have quite the right noses. Their eyes wouldn't be quite the right shade. It seems that we're inextricable; condemned to each other, one might say. So, hoping that I never live in an oceanfront trailer with anyone else, and hoping that he's finally learned his lesson --and is finished embarrassing himself and his hired assassins-- I said yes again.

So, now I have part of the group mad at me because I won't invite Felicity; or Pete, for that matter, but Felicity seems to be the one they're most upset about. Hmmm... I wonder why. They say that I'm being uncharitable and unChristian. But I told them,
"Those demons have had a chance to be my friends, and what did Jesus tell the Apostles when He sent them out? He said, 'If they don't accept you, wipe the dust off your feet, in testimony against them."