My Notebook (Saints & Haints, Chapter 10)

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One of my online acquaintances, another medium, once asked me if I ever played visualization games with my demons. At the time, I was like,
"Um...no. What?"
When he explained what he meant, however, I realized that it was something I had done. He explained,
"I build a house with mine. We imagine it together. I will add the walls, for example. Then he will add the windows. We take turns adding to it, while both visualizing the same picture."
I recognized this concept of shared-visualizations, only I hadn't done it in a long time, and I referred to it as "my notebook."
Early last year, while Johnny was here, and also after he had been removed and I had different demons with me, I used to visualize things to taunt them. In my mind's eye, I'd draw a cross, for example; or I'd draw a little animated sketch of one of them, as a cartoon, getting poked in the ass with a hot poker. I don't remember them ever drawing anything back to me though. This concept, or something similar to it anyway, came up again on the night of July 7th. 

In an attempt to describe a particular trick that demons played on me that night, I'll ask you to participate in this exercise with me:

In a lighted area, close your eyes.

What do you see?

I see sort of a purplish-brown color (the backs of my eyelids), but I also see neon squiggly lines and shapes.

Rub your fingertips across your closed eyelids.

What did you see when you did that?
Could you see that motion?
Did you see starbursts, or something like fireworks, perhaps?

That is what I'm talking about.


One night (actually not in a well-lit area, but there was some light), I had laid down on the living room sofa, with every intention of falling asleep and sleeping the night through there. When I closed my eyes, however, alongside those squiggly lines and shapes, I saw hands waving.
"Really?" I said, to my demons.
"I'm surprised you can see that," one of them replied, "but yeah, really."
As I kept my eyes closed, they waved their hands around, and I saw little faces poking in to look at me. I scoffed at them, thinking they were only trying to keep me from sleeping; albeit in this cute and playful manner.

Next I saw the heart hands, and I said,
"Did you really just make me a heart?"
They said,
"Yeah. So?"
Then I saw a pixelated purple heart.
I said,
"Awww. That's sweet. But, still... goodnight."

The next day, as I was telling some of my psychic friends about it, my demons said, sounding embarrassed,
"Don't tell them we drew you a heart!"
Then they added, in response to my response-thought about that,
"Well, yeah, you do have some powerful friends, and if we didn't draw you something nice, they might... send us back to design school and learn us how to draw nice things."