Bleak Nothingness, A Shit Birthday, & Some Dreams (Saints & Haints, Chapter 2)

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Chapter 2
Bleak Nothingness, A Shit Birthday & Some Dreams


"The other morning I woke up from the middle of a dream where I was having some sort of problem, and someone was saying, 'Have you thought about...?'
That's all I remember.
After a few moments of silence, a demon said,
'Have you thought about sleeping for more than a few hours at a time? Demons are not impressed with their travel expenses.'"

-from my makingfunofdemons social media,
February 8, 2022


After the book was published, I spent February 2022 looking for a job. I wanted to keep writing full time; but I'm not exactly a bestselling author, and the bills were piling up. During the month of February, things between me and my demons were "okay," I guess. They were still around; but they'd stopped attacking me as hard as they had while I was finishing the book.

My birthday is in February, and even though I'm old and grown, my parents still insist on having a birthday party for me; a small family gathering where Mom bakes a cake, they sing "Happy Birthday," and I, of course, make a wish and blow out the candles. That year, I was so depressed that I told Mom I'd gladly eat the cake, if we could skip all that other stuff.
"You don't want to make a wish?" she'd asked me.
"There's nothing to wish for," I'd replied.

So, that was February; a month so bleak and depressing and shitty, it had to be shortened just so people could survive it. I wanted to continue with my regular blog posts, but life kept getting in the way. The following short piece is an article I managed to write in the Spring, but I never actually got around to posting it. There are a few other pieces I wrote in the Spring that I'll weave into this year's story, in between chapters.


Was It Even A Dream?
(I'm Still Not Sure)

The other night I fell asleep on the couch... or, well, I'm assuming that I did. I thought I was still awake, when I felt a demon ooze up through the couch, materializing as he did so. This is something I've experienced before, when I was certainly not asleep. He hovered over me and said,
"Love me."
Then he held me down, and I couldn't move. I tried to call out, but I couldn't talk. I felt a bit like I was being choked, but it didn't hurt as much as it should have.

Finally, I tried to call out to St. Michael, and I was able to do so, though I struggled to get the words out. When I heard my own voice, however, it was not my voice. It was deep, scratchy, and evil-sounding, like a Hollywood interpretation of a demon's voice.

Then I woke up; to relief and surprise, because I truly thought I'd been awake the entire time.

So, was that a dream, or a form of actual possession? I really don't know. It wasn't like my previous possession experiences. If it was merely a dream, however, it was definitely demon-inspired!