Last Year (Saints & Haints, Chapter 1)

 

Listen to audio

It's time to begin making my second book, Saints & Haints, available to you as blog posts/podcast episodes.

This is my personal favorite of all my works, so far. It's dear to my heart, because it chronicles a time of transformation in my life; when I first began to turn this affliction into power. 

As with my first book, all names of individuals and places referenced in my personal memoirs have been changed or intentionally omitted; and in some cases, minor details have been altered to protect an individual's identity. These changes, however, do not impact the truthfulness of the story. All of this happened to me, although I have my doubts that anyone will believe it.

This book is the story of the second phase of my journey. During the timeframe this book covers, I amended some of my previous assessments as more information was revealed to me. I was tricked a lot, too, during this time; but, whenever possible, I wrote this as I experienced it. I feel that the story is best told this way.

 Glossary of Terms

"my demons,"
the ones who converse with me

Actually dead people.
They are sometimes referred to as earthbound spirits, which they are, but they're not the only ones who fall under that category. These are not fallen angels, nor are they beings who were spirits to begin with; they are what most people would call ghosts.

By their own testimony, they are here because they refused to accept Jesus at the times of their deaths. They are actually souls in Purgatory, as in the Catholic understanding of Purgatory; it's just that Purgatory is here, on the surface of the Earth, all around us, in our houses, even. It's a status; not a place. They call themselves demons, though.

Some are evil; although their natures may fall anywhere along the spectrum between evil and good. They can possess, influence, and communicate psychically with the living. They sometimes refer to themselves simply as spirits. Other times they refer to themselves as haints, shaints, Seamuses or shame dee-faced haints, but those are slang terms, mostly specific to this group. Having picked them up myself, however, I use those terms sometimes too.


"real demons,"
aristocrats

Not actually fallen angels either, as most people think. I have recently learned that some of these are deceased humans as well. Regardless of what they might have been previously, these are Satan's aristocratic demons. They are his higher-ups, who have actually made a commitment to him, as opposed to merely being here by default, as is the case with those still in Purgatory. Having made this commitment, they have been accepted into Satan's society. As such, they are entrusted with more power. They are more likely to be the older ones, whereas those in Purgatory tend to be more recently deceased. These are the primary differences between them and those in Purgatory.

I used to think that these aristocrats were imprisoned in "Hell" (or Tartarus, or Sheol), but I have recently been shown evidence that they too can visit the surface. So, they too, are ghosts who may come to visit us.

Additionally, they may remotely view, and influence, both the living and the souls in Purgatory, even from below.

They will sometimes use a soul in Purgatory to do their bidding. For example, they might possess a soul-in-Purgatory demon, who is already possessing a living person; thus influencing the soul-in-Purgatory demon to treat their living hostage more viciously.

As those terms are rather long-winded, for simplicity, I'll simply use the terms "demons" or "my demons" for souls in Purgatory, and "real demons" or "aristocrats" for the other ones.


a "gaggle" of demons.

They tell me that a group of them is called a gaggle; as in how a group of crows is called a "murder" of crows.


Heaven,
Jesus' Kingdom

Heaven, as most people think of it. It is a place beyond this universe where we all have the opportunity to go when we die, if we accept Jesus.


Most High, or
"the real Most High"

The real God, the true source. In this text He is often referred to as "real Most High" rather than God, wherever there might be cause for confusion, as in, wherever other deities who also called themselves "God" are being referenced.


saint

All deceased animals, and any deceased person who is now in Jesus' Kingdom. They are not dead; and should not be thought of as such. This term also applies to Holy angels.


Upstairs,
They^


Shorthands I use sometimes to reference Heavenly beings on Jesus' team.

Chapter 1

Last Year




"Though my soul may set in darkness,
it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly
to be fearful of the night."

-Sarah Williams


I spent January 2022 editing and formatting my first book. Demons harassed me severely that entire time, but I was used to it by then. The worst problem I had at that time was that I felt stuck in a rut. While finishing my first book, I was waiting for the rest of my life to begin, and wondering what sort of shitshow it would turn out to be. I felt that the worst was over. I'd survived an ordeal which had been designed to either put me in a mental institution or make me kill myself, and I'd come out the other side; so I'd won, right? Still, I wondered, what now? All I felt was desolation. I didn't really care what the rest of my life was going to be like, because whatever it was, I didn't want it.

I felt that I had some supporters, though almost none of them were in human form. My pets, as ever, loved their disheveled, workaholic Mommy; and of course I felt that at least a few people upstairs loved me. I just thought it was too bad that I was here and not there.

I had promised Daisy, my dog who passed away last year, that I would always look at the
stars and think of her. Therefore, every night, still to this day, I will go outside, at least for a minute, and say something to her, even if it's only,
"Hey, baby girl. I love you."
On the night of January 13th, when I went outside to look at the stars, I found that the sky was overcast, and I had to tell Daisy,
"Mommy doesn't see any stars tonight."
As soon as I'd said that, as if on demand, a bright star appeared, straight ahead of me, in the exact location in the sky where my eyes were focused. I corrected my statement to,
"Well, there's one..."

The star remained visible for only a moment, and then it flickered and went dark once more. Immediately, as that star was fading, I noticed, to my right, that another star appeared. It too shined brightly for only a moment, and then vanished. Within the next few minutes, all the stars were out, yet the clouds had never seemed to move.

It was weird, but I had the feeling that it meant something. There could have been a rational, scientific explanation; probably many. It could have been nothing at all; but the thing is, I felt that it was something. That feeling is important to note; and in the year that followed, I would be challenged to recognize that sort of intuition moreso than I had ever been before.

It happened twice more, the stars-on-demand thing; on February 18th, and on March 31st.