Roastin' Marshmallows on Demons
Listen to audio
December 22nd, 2021
...continued
After church that Sunday, I tried to sleep, but the demon kept waking me. Every time I drifted off, I'd start having a stupid dream, and the demon would jerk me awake and ask,
"What the fuck was that?"
He did that four or five times. That, the jerking me awake shit, really pisses me off. I want to wring their scrawny little necks, and I hope and pray that God will allow me to do that before they get lit.
Then the mattress was vibrating again. The demon seemed as strong as before the exorcism; but, of course that's because it was an entirely different demon. I had to get up and sprinkle the bed with Holy water. Then I ate a pinch of blessed salt, sprinkled Holy water in every room of the house again, and said my prayers. Finally, I got to rest a little bit.
I had taken in a stray cat, "Wurthers," in May. Demons began repeatedly telling me to shoot him. It's like they thought if they said it enough times, I'd do it. I really don't know who's that dumb, but definitely not me. One night, while I was praying, a demon came up behind me and whispered in my ear,
"You should not get to keep that cat."
They were probably trying to make me think that message came from upstairs. (If I could put that little eye-rolling emoji in a book, I'd put it right here.)
Meanwhile, Lynette remained under the influence. Well, that's my opinion, but I honestly think it's the truth. I think they targeted her as a "punishment" for helping me. She kept insisting that I shouldn't have any more exorcisms because they obviously weren't working. She even said that perhaps I should pray a rosary for the demon; for it's release, she said, which I thought was really weird at the time. Actually, now, I see one way in which that suggestion might make sense --if they are in Purgatory (which would mean that Purgatory is here, because they're definitely physically here). Catholics, for those of you who aren't, believe in three afterlife destinations; Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory. Purgatory is supposed to be a place for the souls who have accepted Jesus, but are in need of some purification before entering Heaven. Still, as I said in "It's October & Ghosts DO Exist," based on the actions of these guys, I don't think they have any hope of redemption.
I had found out about a Benedictine monastery within roadtrip distance, and I told Lynette that I felt compelled to visit there. She said that it might be the demons influencing me. I remember replying, very confusedly,
"I... I... don't think the demons would want me to go to a monastery...?"
It was weird. Really weird.
Basically, she was, like so many people I've encountered this year, acting as if she knows everything about demons. When people react that way, it makes me feel like,
"Um...? Hello? Am I the one who's been on the neverending phone call with them for months now, or is that you?"
She also said that the demon wouldn't leave me if there was any part of me that wanted it to stay. Well, that's a common teaching; actually Father Ryan said the same thing. That one is probably true, but not for the reasons people think. It's probably true because demons are never going to leave you anyway; but not because God is going to say that you didn't reject Satan simply because you laughed at their jokes. It's just another method of victim-shaming, when viewed that way. But, I am pretty positive that that's exactly why demons are hilarious (at least sometimes). They want you to like them and want them to stay, mostly; and they want you to think you're to blame.
Anyway, I love Lynette!! None of this is her fault in the least. I'm just saying that she did sort of flip on me, and I believe it was demon-inspired. The last few times I talked to her, though, she seemed to be her old self; but, then again, I didn't really talk about this subject.
I was blogging hardcore by June, and also privately discussing and sharing information with a few folks I'd met online. Demons were pissed about it. They told me,
"You should never have been with demons; that is the truth. And yes, you should tell other beautiful bitches all about us, so they won't fall for our trickseys. But that right there, is why you will never be without demons; because you have been such a bitch to Satan."
I took it as a compliment, telling them,
"Wow, this blog must be pretty good, or else you wouldn't be so threatened by it."
I was hearing knocks at my door (and no one would be there), seeing things floating and flying and all kinds of shit.
One day I was out for a walk, and as I passed by my family's cemetery, I heard a man's voice yelling,
"Help! Help! Help!"
This was not a telepathic communication; it was out loud, and it was coming from the direction of the cemetery. But, of course, no one was around. Another night, as I was sitting on my porch, I started hearing (out loud) whispering and what I can only describe as pig voices. It was the voice I recorded back in December saying, "Smart," as if the word was being snorted rather than spoken. The demons then told me, telepathically, that it was Satan I was hearing. I said,
"Well. You can just tell Satan to go shove his pitchfork up his ass."
Meanwhile, in June, before our camping trip, Stephanie was reporting that every time she tried to read the Bible or watch a religious video, she'd get anxiety and start to feel a weight pressing down on her legs. These symptoms would only ease when she stopped viewing those materials. I didn't tell her that what she was feeling was probably a demon sitting on her lap. We talked about how she seemed to be experiencing anxiety and pain in her limbs, while I was experiencing sleepiness and headaches. I theorized that it might be that rather than causing these afflictions, the demons were playing on, and exacerbating our preexisting conditions.
We compared notes often, and found that one night, while I was praying for an hour and a half, she was hearing unexplained music at her house. This discovery was yet another confirmation of our suspicion that we were dealing with the same team of demons. She was being hit with paranormal activity pretty hard, it seemed. She was hearing unexplained flute music, and music that sounded like a band warming up. She soon began having headaches too, and seeing shadows move. The first time she tried burning sage, she had to go to bed with a headache. She thought she was allergic to the sage smoke. That might be true; but still, I wondered if it was actually a demon-inspired headache, designed to assure that she would never use sage again.
She was being "shown" video clips, mentally, of herself, committing crimes. Her radio was changing stations on its own. Once, she noticed that it changed itself to a song about demons. She became dreadful of going to bed, because she was having nightmares, feeling a weight on the bed, feeling the bed move, and even feeling as if someone was trying to drag her off the foot of the bed. She told me that one night she'd felt taps coming from her pillow. She'd ignored that and tried to fall asleep; but when she'd placed her hand beneath the pillow, something had touched her hand and traced a circle around her middle finger. She'd ended up getting out of bed; giving up on sleep, I suppose. As she sat in her living room after that, she'd repeatedly heard Thea's voice calling her --though Thea was asleep. She'd messaged me; and it just so happened that I'd noticed having a different demon for the past few hours.
I felt terrible that she was going through this stuff too, but all I could do was pray for her.
Well, that was June.
That was all before my sabbatical...
the month I took off from writing.
So, to pick up where I left off after that, we fast forward now to August 2021; to right after I "got mad at the sky" in the chapter, "Sabbatical, Part 4."
So... demons were being assholes again the next day; the day after I "got mad at the sky." They kept telling me that "Satan said...[whatever the fuck he was supposed to have said]."
They really act like I'm supposed to be afraid of Satan. They were saying that I shouldn't have performed an exorcism. I told them that Satan is a talking fart, and that none of them can do shit, and I filled out a "Little Bitch Report Form" for them. If you have not seen the "Little Bitch Report Form," look it up. It's a hilarious meme, and I would share it with you, but it's copyrighted by Bath & Tostero, Thomas Squire.
Anyway, demons didn't like that much.
At that time, I had Daisy in the house, but my other dog, "Oswald," was sleeping outside because Daisy was sick, and he's huge, and he would pounce on her and stuff. That night, when I went out to feed Oswald, I stayed and played with him for a while because I felt bad that he was outside all alone. While we were playing, something hit the side of my metal carport hard! It sounded exactly like someone had punched it hard with their fist. I knew that it was a retaliation from demons; a show of strength, because I'd said they can't do shit. Later, Oswald was barking, and I was hearing disembodied whispers, and demons were telling me that it was Satan who had punched the carport. I didn't care about that, but I was worried that they were tormenting Oswald. I had to get up and sage the entire property again.
That second smudging seemed to straighten the demons out a little bit. I've noticed that; that sometimes after an exorcism or a rebuking of some sort, while they're never gone, they often act better afterwards, at least. I didn't understand it at first, but recent experiences have led me to think that doing stuff like that might run off the worst ones, or the strongest ones. Anyway, the next day, they seemed tired. They were back to cracking jokes; sort of halfheartedly and sadly, though, it seemed. They asked me,
"What planet did you order yourself from?"
They kept saying,
"Embarrassment..."
I first thought that they were trying their old trick of attempting to get me to think of something embarrassing, so they could torture me about it; but then they continued,
"...you're an embarrassment of a possession."
Then they said something about iambic pentameter; and started referring to themselves as iambuses, and to their tricks, or messages, as iambs. I didn't know what the word "iambus" meant; having only ever heard "iambic pentameter" in relation to poetry. They said,
"Look that up. Look about that. See what you find."
I don't usually do what they tell me; but I was curious, so I did look it up. I was surprised to find that "iambus" means "a verbal attack."
I made a note in my journal back in August that:
"Demon is almost 'pleasant,' and complimentary, while I'm organizing my notes, but then turns evil.. almost as if he got reminded by his supervisor that he's supposed to be torturing me? Or... that's what he wants me to think?"
This was in relation to my blog. This is that bipolar nature I've referred to; and I am referring here to the same demon flipping the switch and turning evil after being reasonably civil all day. They still do this; they've done it this week, in fact. They'll be watching me; reading over my shoulder as I write. They'll be complimentary, for the most part. Every now and then they might say that something I've written pisses them off; but for the most part, they tell me that I am "not that bad of a writer," which is a compliment, when it comes from demons. They've even said that they're proud of me. Yet, every time I achieve some milestone, like finishing a chapter, even though they've been complimenting me all day, they'll attack come nightfall. They'll say, angrily, threateningly, in their best thunderous voice,
"That was not that bad of a blog post you wrote!"
They'll say that while pushing me around from inside my body, or after jerking me awake, or whatever torture technique they're using; as if that's the punishment for writing "not that bad of a blog post." And, as I mentioned, it will be the same demon I've had all day; although sometimes another one will have joined him.
They tell me that they are very influenced by Satan. They sort of not-necessarily admit, but strongly imply, that when they're mean to me, it's because Satan made them do it. I don't know if this is true or not. They have said that they are hooked up to Satan telepathically, like I'm hooked up to them.
"So, we hear a constant stream of filth, too," they've explained.
I have told them,
"Well. So? You don't have to do what Satan tells you to do."
To which they replied,
"Yeah... you say that, because you don't do what we tell you to do. That's what makes you so saintly."
Demons came up with some alternative names for themselves. They started referring to themselves as shainty-haired loser demons, scantily-clad humorous demons, skanky-assed demons, or Satanheads. That last one was inspired by my artistic representations of them, however. They nicknamed me Martha Poptart. One day I heard, out loud, a random,
"Wi you mawwy me?"
Yes, I still can't help laughing about some of it. More recently, they've dubbed themselves "shaints," which means an assortment of things, including "shamedy-faced haints," and "sure ain't saints," and also "Shamuses," the singular form being "Shameus," which is pronounced like the name Seamus, but they've told me it's spelled Shameus.
They started talking a lot about "demon reform school," and referring to other living people as "That reform school girl" or, "That reform school boy." They told me that sometimes "They" (meaning God, here) have to reform people until they're suitable, because someone already up there has requested that person's presence. Well, that last part came from my pondering of Acts of the Apostles. I had been thinking about how it describes the Apostles baptizing entire families. It reads as if a man could say that he wanted to be Christian, and they'd go and baptize him, his wife, and his kids. I was thinking that the wives and children should have had some say in the matter, and maybe they did. That, though, is what led me to wonder, can you really save your entire family? I don't know if that's true or not. You see, demons never tell me --or anyone else, for that matter-- anything useful. Instead, they take something that I've learned and try to shape my understanding of it. So, in that case, they were trying to convince me, for whatever reason, that yes, you can save your entire family. The reform school part was an attempt to make me think that God actually does order demons for us as punishment.
Here's another example. I was watching a movie which features an actor who is very handsome, but I have heard bad things about him. During the movie, they commented,
"That human is beautiful; that's truthful. One of the most beautiful they ever made... without feathers...
Yeah, they might have to figure out a way to dust him off and see what they can do with him... be a shame to let that face go to waste."
That's how they are; they'll fixate on one thing they're trying to get me to believe, and they'll talk about it every way they possibly can for a week or so. I assume they give up then, because they can never convince me of anything. Incidentally, I do think that God reforms people; just not with demons. I also think it's true that demons have reformed people, by accident. You could say that's what happened to me. But, this was not the outcome they were hoping for; they wanted me to join their side. If, hypothetically, that wasn't the truth, and they were truly sent to reform me into a good Christian, then why would they still be torturing me, now that I am one? Why did they ever torture the Saints?
To be continued...
Comments
Post a Comment