It's October & Ghosts DO Exist!

 

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October Things

As the leaves change their color, I am able to focus, as I'm sure you can see; but between the headaches I'm plagued with and constant commentary from demons, it's a struggle at times. This is precisely why I always hated to watch sports on TV. (Well, besides the fact that it's really boring!) Stop sometime and listen to the noise of a televised football game, without paying attention to the game. It's so loud. Whistles. Cheering. Chaos. Furthermore, in addition to all of that, there are two goobers telling you what you just saw, and what you're supposed to think about it. Why anyone finds that amusing is far beyond me. That said, things have been much better for me --as far as demons are concerned, at least-- since the morning of Daisy's death. There has been even more improvement since my baptism as well. What I notice most is fewer attacks. There seems to be only one demon here most of the time, and he has exhibited relatively good behavior. Not been too pesky. Not too mean. The way things have been lately, I'd have to admit that it's much preferable to watching football. Still, my "much better" everyday life would drive a lot of people insane.

This is my first October (in a long time anyway) as a Christian. It's a little bit different. I see the world through different eyes now. A lot of Christians seem to think that Halloween is a bad holiday; "the devil's night," they call it. I think this is a ridiculous presumption, considering that the original purpose of the celebration was to frighten away evil spirits. Of course, evil spirits aren't really frightened by our costumes and jack-o-lanterns; but still, the intention of frightening away evil spirits is about as Christian as it gets. Dressing up, carving pumpkins, going around bumming candy, and even watching some scary movies are all good, clean fun. It's the interest in the occult, which seems to increase exponentially around Halloween, and some of the more inaccurate horror movies, that are causes for concern.

I've been following paranormal investigation groups on social media because I reason that they might be people who'd be interested in my work. They are also people who are very much in need of a warning about what could happen to them if they actually make the contact they seek. I am surprised by how many such groups exist, and how many more have popped up recently. The other day, I was perusing some of these groups on Instagram, and demon commented,
"Shut the front door yourself, if there is not a paranormal investigation group in every bathroom in North America!"
And it's about the truth.

I'm not downing these groups. That would be very hypocritical of me, considering that I was once exactly where they are; and that my first contact with the other side was through EVP. Actually, I think these groups could do a lot of good for the world, if we ever acquire enough evidence to prove to the nonbelievers that there's an afterlife. Still, the fact that there are so many people out there searching for something indicates to me that the thirst for this proof is stronger than ever. Has there been an increase in paranormal activity in recent years? This is a point that I'll return to shortly.


I Promised To Scare You, So Here Goes...

It's interesting to re-watch old movies now, noting how my perception has changed. For instance, I recently re-watched Ghost with Patrick Swayze. That scene where Patrick Swayze's character keeps Whoopi Goldberg's character awake all night by singing "I'm Henry VIII, I am" was merely humorous when I watched it as a child. This time I was thinking,
"How'd they know that that's exactly how demons act? Who on that film crew had demons?"
It is quite an accurate, if comical, portrayal of many nights I've had in the past year. You might be thinking, "But, wait... Patrick Swayze's character wasn't a demon! He was a human "ghost" who only did that stuff to save the love of his life! He wasn't a demon." And... that's where that movie gets a little inaccurate.

I have a bit of a bomb to drop on you. This is something I've been thinking for a while, but I wanted to be "sure" before I wrote about it. This might sound weird; but if you're still reading, you're good with weird, so bear with me.

Okay. I stated previously, in my second post, actually, "The Burden of Proof," that there is no such things as ghosts --at least not as you probably think of them. I went on to explain my meaning; that sure, there are things here haunting us, but they are demons, not our deceased loved ones. In other words, I didn't believe that they were the ghosts of humans. Well, I now think that I was only half right about that. Let me explain.


What is a demon?

What is a demon anyway? When I first started on this journey, I didn't know. I vaguely imagined some horned creatures who torture people in Hell; but, I'd never thought too much about it, because I didn't believe in them. Once I had something in my mattress telling me that it was a demon, I took the question more seriously. I looked into the religious answer; which is basically, one of the fallen angels. These guys sided with Satan or something, as the story goes. I also looked to good ol' Enoch, and some of the other non-canonical ancient texts. Some of these apocryphal writings expand on events that are glossed over in Genesis 6. They tell of a time when angels came to Earth and mated with human women (and possibly animals) to create a race of giants and other monsters.

My early assessment was that these fallen angels and their descendants are what demons are. Also, with my new assumption that religion must be true, I reasoned that good people must be in Heaven and bad people must be in Hell already. But, some things about that theory didn't add up.

Enoch explains that the spirits of the monsters, who were killed in the flood (if not prior to it), are trapped in the Earth until Judgement Day. In Enoch 1, chapter 10, verse 12, God says to St. Michael, regarding the fallen angels,
"When their sons have slain one another, and they have seen the destruction of their beloved ones, bind them fast for seventy generations under the hills of the earth, until the day of the consummation of their judgment and until the eternal judgment is accomplished."
It also says in chapter 10, verse 6, regarding one particular angel, Azazel, that "on the day of great judgement he shall be hurled into the fire."

This would indicate that even the fallen angels themselves aren't in Hell yet; they are merely bound in some place of darkness, some place of condemnation, within the Earth.

Some Christians will say that these books are not to be trusted; that they are not truthful. Some of them may not be. I will point out, however, that the book of Enoch was part of Jewish scripture during the time of Jesus; so, in other words, it was part of the Bible, as the Bible was in that time. It was removed from canon by all Christian churches except the Ethiopian Orthodox Church sometime in the 3rd century.

This is probably why this story is referenced in other places in the Bible, aside from Genesis 6. For example,
Jude, chapter 1, verse 6, New American Bible Revised Edition, reads:
"The angels too, who did not keep to their own domain but deserted their proper dwelling, he has kept in eternal chains, in gloom, for the judgment of the great day."
Enoch is mentioned by name in Jude chapter 1, verse 14.
Additonally, In 2nd Peter, chapter 2, verse 4, we read:
"For if God did not spare the angels when they sinned, but condemned them to the chains of Tartarus and handed them over to be kept for judgment..."

Jesus is reported to have been very well versed in scripture, even as a child. If He, in all of His time at the temple, and in all of His preaching, never said, "Hey, that Enoch book is not true, don't read that one," then it's awfully funny to me why some church fathers, some 200 years later, thought that they could make that determination. But, then again, lots of things are awfully funny to me.

Okay. So, possibly no one is in Hell yet. We have determined that; or inferred it, anyway.

Another thing that I missed, and missed, and missed, and then one day it hit me like a bucket of truth soup, is this:
In the gospels, there are several accounts of Jesus casting demons out of people. Sometimes they're referred to as "demons." Other times they're referred to as "unclean spirits." I assumed at first that these two terms must be interchangeable.
"Surely they're talking about the same thing," I thought, if I thought about it at all, "because the symptoms and the process is the same. In all of these stories, someone is possessed, and someone must perform an exorcism of some sort."
One day it occurred to me that perhaps they are not the same thing. It might be that this possible difference is never explained by the authors of the gospels because it was common knowledge back then. The Apostles never dreamed that they should break it down Barney style for clueless humans living 2,000 years in the future, who no longer have any idea what they're talking about. I think this time lapse creates a loss of context that we should always be mindful of when reading scripture. I'm not sure about that one, but it was something that pointed me in a helpful direction, at least.

Then, after that epiphany, another proof that there are different types of these... things... became obvious. The "fasting and prayer" reference from Matthew 17:21 and Mark 9:29, "this kind will only come out with fasting and prayer."
Also, I noticed that Jesus or the Apostles always "cast them out," but it never says to where. It never says that they cast them into Hell. So, after that epiphany, an example supporting that line of thought became so stupidly, obviously, clear. In the story about Jesus casting the demons into the swine, Matthew 8:29,
"They [The demons] cried out, 'What have you to do with us, Son of God? Have you come here to torment us before the appointed time?'"
Hmmm... they're not very afraid of Him, it seems, and speaking about an appointed time. It does sort of sound as if they might have free reign to do whatever they please until then. And, they end up going into a herd of swine, all of which then commit suicide. Why not just cast them into Hell? Also, the Apostle's Creed states that Jesus will come forth to judge the living and the dead. The Catechism of the Catholic Church provides Barney-style explanations for pretty much every word of that creed; and yet, mysteriously, offers no explanation of that particular line's meaning.

The last piece of the puzzle really should have been the first, but it's not my fault entirely that I missed this one. I was, after all, fucked up on demons.
I've been remembering more as time passes from those days when I was actually possessed. This, by the way, leads me to suspect that deliverance is an ongoing process, and a lengthy one at that. One of the things I've remembered clearly now is that Johnny --after I had become able to hear him, and after he had told me that he was a demon-- told me that I am a medium. I remember being confused about this, because I didn't think of demons as dead. Instead, I thought of them as these supernatural, immortal creatures. I remember Johnny asking me, as if I were stupid,
"Don't you know what a medium is?"
I replied,
"Yes. A medium can talk to the dead; but what does that have to do with you?"
He said,
"We are the dead."

I still didn't put 2 and 2 together, however, because I thought he meant it in some abstract theological sense; such as, they're "dead" because they're in Hell, as opposed to the people in Heaven having "eternal life." After I recalled this conversation more recently, and thought about it, I decided that possibly these demons were the descendants of the fallen angels; because the fallen angels themselves are immortal beings, but their descendants were not. Basically, I started to think that perhaps these demons were the ghosts of giants or hybrids. He also changed his background story a few times, from being a "demon," to being "a minion of the demons," back to being a "demon." At the time, I thought all of that was merely lies to create confusion. Now that I think about it, though, the "minion" story is kind of interesting.

But, that still didn't explain everything. It didn't explain why they don't run screaming at the sight of a cross, or seem to fit any of the other Hollywood stereotypes about demons. It didn't explain why they write rap songs and make very culturally relevant jokes. Knowing that they read our minds and learn from us, and that they've been watching TV over our shoulders all this time, could explain that. Even if they were thousands of years old, they could conceivably be up-to-date with the changing times. But, seriously, how likely is it that a thousands-years-old pissed off dead giant is writing rap songs about me? Plus, they just seem very human.

Once I started seriously thinking that they are human, they started confirming that it's true. I realize that their testimony is unreliable. As I've said, whenever they tell me something, I go more by how I feel about what they said than by what they actually said. They often confirm things that I'm already thinking, especially if I'm already pretty well convinced. They claim that the reason for this is that they aren't allowed to give me information; but if I have already figured something out for myself, then they can confirm it.

Once I started thinking that they are indeed the ghosts of humans, they told me that that's correct; and furthermore, that they are the damned. According to them, they do not have a chance of redemption, having already been condemned at their individual judgements, or condemned themselves by refusing to go. They say that they do not have to go to Hell yet; not until Judgement Day (when Jesus returns). They still insist that they serve Satan, and still refer to themselves as demons. I suppose that is a fitting enough term. If they are evil spirits who serve Satan, then demons they are, regardless of whatever they once were. I have decided that I believe this. It matches with all the evidence. I also believe that they have no chance of redemption, because if they did, they wouldn't do the evil things they've done to myself and others.

So, that means that I am actually dealing with ghosts of dead people. But, they are still not the ghosts of our deceased loved ones; unless of course, someone's deceased loved one was a Satanist or something, perhaps. This explains quite a lot. It explains why I keep reading that cases of possession are on the rise, and that in recent years the Vatican has trained 250 new exorcists. I suppose cases of possession --as well as cases of paranormal activity, and cases of people being influenced to explore the paranormal-- would be on the rise, wouldn't they? There are more dead people now than ever before.

I do stand firm in my assessment that all of them are evil, regardless of however benevolent they may seem. I have evidence, for myself anyway, that the righteous dead are in Heaven already. The reasons that I believe this are:

1) None of my numerous deceased family members have ever stopped by my house, or spoken to me in words. I'm "the best medium in Jerusalem," and I've been through Hell this year. I really think they would have come to my rescue if they were floating around.

2) What some of my numerous deceased loved ones, as well as some Saints to whom I've appealed, have done, is answer me, not in words. They have answered with signs, and the sudden "downloads" I receive sometimes of concepts or ideas. These epiphanies, such as the ones I've described, see to come from nowhere, and are helpful to me in my situation. For example, when it "hit me like a bucket of truth soup" about those Biblical terms, no one said to me, in words, "Hey, girl! Did you know that an unclean spirit might not be the same thing as a demon?" No one said that; yet there the idea was. Demons talk. They yakety yak yak yak all the time.

Furthermore, I suspect that these human-demons are all anyone has ever been dealing with, at least since the time of Jesus. I honestly was confused, at the very beginning of this experience, about why my experience has been so different from Hollywood's (or any Catholic priest's) interpretation of a possession case. Anytime you read an account from an exorcist, it's so dramatic! The client was convulsing, their eyes changed colors, they had scratch marks, etc., while I have a bunch of rap-performing jokesters. I have learned enough about these comedians by now, however, to know that they are capable of all of that. They can possess you; they can fuck with you pretty hardcore if you let them. When priests see a victim's eyes change color, that's the demon making them hallucinate. No, they're not immune. These things I've been dealing with, whatever they are, they could pull that off.

I stand by my original theory about those types of possession cases. It's all part of a diabolical plan. They do that overly-theatrical stuff sometimes to make everyone -- especially priests-- think that that's what possession looks like. That way, when someone like how I was when I was possessed --someone who looks just fine, and acts just fine, and is very coherent, but has a bizarre story about paranormal activity-- comes to ask for help, they'll be turned away. I was exactly the type of possessed person who would have been sent to a psychologist by most priests. I think that demons actually do this sort of possession to the people they want most. Those other victims are unwilling actors in Satan's stage performance; which is designed to cover up the far more numerous cases of less-detectable possession.

Additionally, there is the fact that while my exorcisms helped to liberate me mentally; they definitely didn't make the joke-posting ghosts leave for good. They seem far less affected by all-things-Holy than legend would have it. Interesting, isn't it? I don't think that some people are dealing with "real demons" either. I don't know exactly what happened to them, or if there ever were any "real demons" possessing people. Maybe there never were; or maybe something about that situation changed after Jesus was crucified. That story could have been written in some chapter that was kept from us. The main reason that I think this is because I have definitely pissed these guys --and their boss, Satan-- off. If there was something stronger that could have come after me, I believe it would have. So, there you have it. They're human demons.

The bad news about that is, that the earth is literally crawling with the evil dead. They are most likely all around you, in your house, in your car, even in your mattress. They are reading your every thought, and every thought you've ever had. They know everything about you, and you know nothing about them. They will insert negative thoughts into your mind, and attempt to influence your behavior. They will possess you if they get the chance. They are most definitely watching you in the shower.

And, while you can pray for divine protection and use sacramentals --and I suggest that you do-- there is nothing... nothing... that you can do to make them stay away forever.