I Feel Fall in the Air

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I Feel Fall in the Air

For the past few years, here in the Southeast, Fall hasn't arrived until October. Once the humidity finally reaches a non-lethal level, the joke around here is,
"Man! That temperature dropped from 90 to 55 like it saw a state trooper!"

This year, it seems that Fall is a little early. I'm already wearing a hoodie. This is supposed to be my favorite time of the year. Autumn in Appalachia is heartbreakingly beautiful. It will make you believe in magic, if anything is ever going to. It will make you want to fall in love with a beautiful stranger, build a log cabin, and snuggle by the fireside with your sweetie, forever.
Plus, there are always the Halloween festivities and pumpkin pies.

Now my history-hunting associates on Facebook are asking if there are any old houses in town that were once used as funeral homes. I presume they're planning on doing some ghost-hunting excursions. For me, disillusionment has set in. I am lost in sadness and disappointment.

I read from other exorcists that I should love demons; because I should hate no one, not even them. Well, all I can say about that is, anyone who says that has no idea what I've been through. I read about Saints who were able to see their guardian angels, and I wonder if it was really their guardian angels they were seeing, or just demons impersonating angels. I wonder if we truly have guardian angels. If we do, where is mine? 

I started reading, from several sources, about Padre Pio of Pietrelcina, who is a Saint venerated by the Catholic church, and someone who also had some extrasensory "gifts" and mystical experiences. Many of the Saints did. Perhaps that's why demons have been calling me a "saint." It seems that Padre Pio got to perform magic tricks. Seriously. One of the stories I read about him, in The "Padre" Saint Pio of Pietrelcina by Father Marcellino IasenzaNiro, is this:
A young man came to confession, merely to get a chance to talk to Padre Pio, because the Padre was so popular that the confessional was the only place where most people could gain an audience with him. The young man made a confession; but afterwards he wanted to ask the Padre to answer a list of questions from his friends, which he had written on a piece of paper. The Padre agreed, but when the young man looked at the paper, it was blank. The Padre smiled, and answered the questions which had been written there.

According to this source (Loyola Press):
"[Padre Pio] appeared in two places at the same time to help people in trouble. He summoned friends by mental telepathy or by causing them to smell the scent of violets, which was associated with his presence. He read people’s thoughts and used that special knowledge to tease them. He dumbfounded people in the confessional by describing all their sins in detail."

So... it sounds as if Padre Pio got to do cool stuff, like erase people's papers; and apparently he was a psychic who could read human minds. And here, all I get is the ability to hear demons bitching 24/7/365. Additionally, according to the same source cited above, shortly after joining the priesthood as a young man, Padre Pio had a mysterious decade-long illness which required him to reside at his home, because he got sick whenever he entered the monastery.
Very interesting.
Saint Padre Pio is wonderful, though. I've prayed to him myself. He was very helpful. One thing he said --not to me personally, but something I've read-- is this:
"Remember this forever; it is a healthy sign if the devil shouts and roars around your consciousness, since this shows that he is not inside your will."
-Saint Padre Pio

Daisy is worse. At this time, it is not looking as if those prayers will be answered either. I feel that I'm being forced to do this, to write about my experiences. It's the only purpose I can discern for having this "ability" which is more like a curse. I see that the world needs this message; and that there are more than a few misconceptions that need to be set straight. Besides, writing this is all I can do. I have had no more luck in finding freelance editing and writing work. It's as if there's a curse on my name which makes my resume appear blank when employers look at it. I'm assuming that this is the vocation I've been assigned by God. So, okay, then, I'm doing my job.

I even tried to make a deal with God. I promised that if Daisy receives a miraculous healing, that I will tell the whole world! I'll post it everywhere! I'll publish it! I'll tell everyone I ever meet for the rest of my life! It would be a wonderful testimony; and I'll spread that message, with joy, if it happens.

However, I am committed to telling the truth here, regardless of how flattering it is to any parties concerned. As of this moment, I have seen no proof that any exorcisms actually get rid of demons. They help. Lots of things help. They can lessen the influence a demon has on a person. They can make the demon get out of the person. Nothing, however, makes them go away and stay gone.
Furthermore, I have seen absolutely no proof that you get anything you ask for in prayer, for yourself.

I really hate to rain on anyone's parade, but:

"It is better that scandals arise than the truth be suppressed."
-Saint Gregory the Great


Back to the account of my struggles between my first and second exorcisms

...continued

After the rosary incident, demon started calling himself "Catholic demon." When addressing me, he would say,
"Catholic demon say you [whatever it was that he wanted to say]..."
or, sometimes,
"Catholic demon pray you..." 
He started saying that he is a humanologist (as opposed to a demonologist). Occasionally, he would become angry about my religious activities and say things like,
"This demon is not going to be as Catholic-as-the-Pope, that is the truth right there."

He started referring to me as "a demon's sweetheart," which means, a person inhabited by a demon. He also started referring to Saint Michael as "Saint Markle" (after the duchess). He was doing this to make me think that he can't say Saint Michael's name, although, I'm not sure if that's true or merely another trick. Demons usually slur, or slightly mispronounce the names of people in Heaven. They say things like "Glod," "Jebus," and "Mother Many." They will even mispronounce my ancestors' names, or simply say, "Your grandmother..." without saying her name. 

Meanwhile, Stephanie was having panic attacks. One day while I was getting ready for church, I became nauseous. I considered not going to church, thinking that I might be coming down with something. Then it occured to me that it might be demons making me sick. I said a Hail Mary, and in just a few minutes I felt better. Still, demon tried to stop me from going to church by telling me that he would not go with me; he'd stay home with my pets instead. I started a new ritual then, of asking God, every time I leave the house, to please protect my babies and my home from demons, and from all types of evil and harm. I went to church anyway.

One method of demon frustration, which I pioneered during this time, is repeating out loud whatever bullshit they say to me telepathically. This is something that occured to me one day, but I'm not certain why. You see, I have always been taught that God is omniscient, all-seeing and all-knowing. Therefore, I would expect God to be able to read my mind back and forth, the way the demons do. I would assume that God can hear this on-going conversation in my head, and that He knows who's saying what.
But... it occured to me that, just because God can know everything, doesn't mean that He chooses to. Maybe he doesn't want to listen in on our thoughts. Therefore, I made it a point to explain in my prayers (which I now always say out loud) exactly what was going on with me, as far as hearing demons telepathically is concerned.

One day they were being particularly mean about something, probably because Father Ryan was scheduled to return soon. They said to me, telepathically,
"Satan is not going to let you get away with this."
I said, out loud, like I did the other day when they were talking about Saint Michael,
"Oh, really? Satan is not going to let me get away with this, you say. Well, why don't you ask Satan exactly what he plans to do about it?"
The demons were silent for a moment, and then they responded, telepathically,
"He said that he is not going to do shit about it."
I said, out loud,
"Not gonna do shit, huh? That's what I thought."


An idea I had while comparing Bibles...

From reading the gospels, I got an idea of something to do in preparation for my second exorcism; but it brings up an interesting discussion point that is a bit of a diversion from the topic, so bear with me.

As I've said, I was raised Protestant. I still love the King James Version of the Bible because it is much more poetic and beautiful than the New American Bible, which is officially my Bible now that I'm Catholic. I'm a fan of old English. It reminds me of Shakespeare.

Still, sometimes the KJV gets a bit too "thee thine thouest" and you're left scratching your head going,
"Okay... what did I just read?"
The New American Bible Revised Edition is nice in that regard, because it reads like a novel. It's easy to understand, and reading comprehension is very important when it comes to reading scripture. Plus, it includes more books, and some of them, like Tobit, contain very important lessons that I wish I'd learned as a child.

(Sidenote: I usually quote from the New American Bible Revised Edition or NABRE, simply because it's one of the ones I have a digital copy of, so it's easier to reference while writing. I actually own several versions, including a 1611 edition KJV, and an Ethiopian Bible.)

Anyway, I usually notice very few differences between the NABRE and the KJV, and usually they're nothing that makes any difference to the meaning of the passage.

However, here's a difference, that might have mattered, if it had worked.

King James Version, Matthew, chapter 17, verse 21:
"Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting."

King James Version, Mark, chapter 9, verse 29:
"And he said unto them, This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting."

This story, told in both Matthew and Mark, is the story of a possessed young man who is taken by his father to Jesus's disciples for an exorcism. This young man had been possessed since his childhood. When the disciples fail to remove the unclean spirit, the father asks Jesus to perform the exorcism himself, which Jesus does. Afterwards, when the disciples ask Jesus why they were not successful, the passages above are his response.

The New American Bible Revised Edition completely omits the part about fasting. In the NABRE, Matthew 17:21 is left out of the text entirely; included only as a footnote at the end of the book.

The NABRE, Mark, chapter 9, verse 29 reads:
"He said to them, 'This kind can only come out through prayer.'"

No mention of fasting is made.

Also, I'll point out that I don't think the Bible ever mentions where the demons go when they get cast out. I don't believe it ever says that they get cast into Hell. Please, someone correct me if I'm wrong. I'm starting to think that this is the root of my problem; that maybe, all we can do, as humans, is command demons to stop possessing people. That is very good; but that doesn't stop them from continuing to hang around us, and those of us who can hear them know they're still around.

Anyway, I figured that since Jesus said it, fasting must be worth a try. I fasted for two days before my second exorcism.

...to be continued