Waiting For My Second Official Exorcism

 

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Hello, again!

I think it's time to go back and pick up where I left off, after my first exorcism with Father Ryan. I mentioned, back in post 16 "My First Official Exorcism," that demon was quieter for a while, that I was exhausted and slept well that night, and that I was disappointed. When we went out for ribs, I had this feeling that can best be described in the words of a fellow Redditor, who basically said:
"It felt as if something was resting in the back of my mind."
That's exactly what it felt like, and what it still feels like when it's weakened or "rebuked." I am aware of its presence at these times; but it keeps its mouth shut, and it keeps its mind shut, too, for the most part. It's almost as if it's asleep.

That exorcism was on a Saturday. At that point, I had not yet started attending church, but I had been watching the YouTube-streamed sermons from local churches. That is one good thing to come out of the pandemic, in my opinion. It's wonderful to be able to watch local church services from home if you aren't able to attend (or, perhaps, are not ready to).

That Sunday, I was watching the service from a local Catholic church, and something really weird happened. I wasn't watching it in real time; it was later in the evening, and I was watching the recording of the service from earlier that day. There was a part where the pastor said a long prayer for all the people in the community who were sick with COVID-19. Granted, a very similar prayer was probably said in most churches that morning; but nonetheless, this was not a scripted, pre-written prayer. As I was listening, demon started whispering the words of the prayer along with the minister, as in, saying the same words at the same time.

This really confused me then, and still does to an extent. If I had been watching the service in real time, I'd almost wonder if he was bi-locating (or traveling quickly back and forth from my house to the church), and reading the pastor's mind to know in advance which words he would say next. But it was not a real time recording, and I wouldn't think he would have slipped away that morning and attended the service in person. Therefore, my theories are:

a) that it was an auditory hallucination of some sort, an echo-effect, produced by demon, or that,

b) possibly, demon is capable of processing the words I'm hearing much faster than I am, and is able to repeat them back to me, all in the brief amount of time it takes me to interpret the data, and therefore was able to make it seem as if he were simultaneously saying the words.

The demon, before the exorcism, had been acting very judgemental of everything I was currently doing and everything I had done in the past. He would tell me,

"They won't let you be in Heaven because you have done that [whatever memory he was pulling at the time]..."

or,

"They [meaning God] might think that you should not do that [whatever it was that I was about to do]..."

Sometimes, it would be something ridiculous, like,

"They might think that you should not use dandruff shampoo..."

A few times, whenever he said something that stupid, and I responded with a look of confusion, he'd say,

"Yeah, that one doesn't even make sense. Nevermind."

That Sunday evening, I decided to try to correct something at my house that had been bothering me. My ex-boyfriend had painted my screen door sloppily, and had smeared paint onto the screen. I couldn't scrape it off. I decided to try coloring over it with a black marker instead to blend it in. As I was working on this, demon said,

"That... is not something that they would think that you would think about doing... but... it is nothing that makes any difference."

I laughed, and responded, in my head,
"Oh, really? You mean to say that I can still get into Heaven, even if I paint my screen with a marker?"

Demon responded angrily,
"Yass, bitch! They don't give a fuck what you paint your screen with!"

Shortly after that, a passing car slowed down suspiciously, as if the driver were scoping out my house. I watched as it crept on past my driveway and out of sight. Demon said, with an angry tone again,

"Yes, that car did slow down. And what does it matter? Maybe they just wanted to see if that little Lee-lovin', Father Ryan-lovin', little slut was home!"

All of this conversation took place in my head, telepathically. I noticed a drastic shift after that exorcism towards telepathic communication. After that, there was far less communication through rhythms and touch. Aside from feeling it rest in the back of my mind, I sometimes felt it look through my eyes, angrily. I felt a heaviness in my eye sockets, behind my eyeballs, and it felt "angry," like an angry energy. I would feel it move my head slightly, or move my eyes. Even if it didn't really come through in words, there was a sensation almost like,
"What is that? Let's just take a look at that! Bring that over here and let this demon see it!"

It was not long after this, that I decided on a local Catholic church to join. I visited for the first time and had a talk with the pastor. I told him that I had no idea how to be Catholic, or even how to conduct myself at Mass. He asked what had drawn me to Catholicism, and I told him that I appreciated the fact that Catholics acknowledge demons as real adversaries, and they acknowledge the ongoing spiritual warfare we're all a part of whether we know it or not. I told him that I had played at ghost-hunting --very unwisely-- and had ended up contacting a demon; and that, although I'm repentant of my actions, the experience had provided me with the proof I needed to become a true believer. I told him that now that I am a true believer, and now that I feel the need to get on the right side, get myself baptized, and join a church, I felt that Catholicism was most in line with what I now believe.

He simply said,
"Huh... Well, that's interesting. Okay, then."
I left it at that. I still haven't told him about my on-going struggle. I think I might, at some point. I figured there was no point in risking making myself appear crazy to this person I'd only just met, and I didn't want it to seem as if that was the only reason I was joining the church. Because, it isn't the reason I'm joining the church; it's merely the reason I'm certain that I should. Besides, I was already working with Father Ryan for all my exorcism and house blessing needs. My new pastor, "Father Nicholas," gave me a tour of the church and told me the date and time to begin RCIA classes.

I stayed for Mass that day. Father Nicholas introduced me to a lady who was sitting alone, and told me that she would guide me through the service, as far as when to stand or sit, and things of that nature were concerned. She smiled, extended her hand, and said,
"I'm 'Grace.'"
I stood stunned for a moment, because something had, metaphorically, hit me in the chest. "Grace" was the name of one of my grandmothers, both of whom have passed.

This is an example of how I have come to believe we receive messages from upstairs. "They" don't talk to us in words. They don't prance around our houses. They would never do anything to scare us or our pets. But, they are aware of what is going on in our lives. They hear us, and they can respond. Their responses, however, are more in the form of concepts, which are conveyed through signs which will mean something to you. I don't think that anyone else could accurately convey a message from a loved one in Heaven to you; nor would any one else be asked to do so. When they have something to say to you, they will say it to you, and you must interpret the message for yourself. It won't be difficult, though. They are very good at finding something we'll understand. Just open your heart to it; learn to "listen" for it. If something hits you a certain way, if you thought it was significant, then it probably was. Don't ignore those things. In this particular instance, some people might say,
"So what? She had the same name as your grandmother. Big deal. It's a common name."
That's true; but something hit me in the chest when she said it. I knew that it was a message for me, and it meant that I was home.

At my first RCIA class, I noticed that my left ear felt hot. The only reason I noticed was because I tucked my hair behind my ears while sitting at the table in the church library where the class was being held. With that simple gesture of tucking the loose strands of hair behind my ears with my fingertips, I noticed that my left ear felt hot, while my right one felt cool and normal.

At the next class, I checked my ears to see if the same phenomena would occur again. Sitting at the same table, I nonchalantly tucked my hair behind my ears. The right one felt cool and normal. This time, however, not only was my left ear hot to the touch, there was literally a hot steam emitting from it. I could hold my hand a few inches from my ear, and feel heat waves radiating from my ear canal. I worried that my classmates could see it. I imagined that I looked like an angry cartoon character with smoke clouds billowing from their ears. No one said anything, so I guess it wasn't visible. This phenomena hasn't occurred again.

Stephanie had already started experiencing paranormal activity at her house before my first exorcism with Father Ryan. Oddly enough, she didn't start confiding in me about it until after I already had Father Ryan booked for a home visit. One day, a few weeks before he was to come out, she texted,
"Look, I can't talk to just anybody about this stuff, but I know you'll understand..."

Since that crazy week at Aunt Nell's, one year prior, we had not talked that much about odd occurrences of a supernatural sort. We had both mentioned a few things that had happened, but nothing had escalated to anywhere near the point it did once we flipped the calendar to 2021. So, basically, I knew that she had occasionally experienced some things as well, but that was the first time I realized that things had picked up the pace with her as well. After that exorcism, she said that things quietened down at her house for about a week; but shortly after that she was experiencing being touched in bed. This was when she started seeing eerie ghostly faces in reflective surfaces, such as her aquarium.

During this time, demon hinted ominously that it was in fact that week at Aunt Nell's when it met us, and that it was the same demon at both our houses. Once when the notification of a text from Stephanie popped up on my phone, demon said,
"Yeah, fuck her, too."
Then he went on, saying,
"Yes, this demon knows Stephanie. This demon knows all about little Thea's Easter basket."

That was a reference, which I immediately understood, to the night before Aunt Nell died on Easter Sunday. Stephanie knew she needed to spend the night with Aunt Nell, but she was worried about missing Easter with Thea. She had placed a call home to her family, instructing her husband and the older children on where the items for the basket were hidden and how she wanted the basket presented to Thea.
That really doesn't confirm that Aunt Nell's is where we picked up this bitch-hiker, because he could have pulled that memory from either of our minds. Still, it was an ominous implication that we were right in suspecting as much, and also that it is the same demon (or group of demons) tormenting us both.

Meanwhile, demon was alternating between being comical and being downright evil. One day, I watched the movie "Dogma" with Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. At the beginning of the film, there is a disclaimer in which they basically apologize in advance to anyone they might offend. They close with the line,
"...even God has a sense of humor. Just look at the Platypus."

Well, one day, I had a humorous thought about something to do with religion. I really don't remember now what it was.
Demon responded with,

"They might think that you should not think that. They might think that. But then again, they do have a sense of humor, don't they? Yes, they do, and you know that. Because, after all, just look at platypuses. Isn't that right? Isn't that what Matt Damon said? But platypuses might think that Matt Damon should not have said that."

I'm trying very hard not to say anything that might harm any specific person professionally. Therefore, I'll say that there is a sometimes pink-haired medium on YouTube who has written a few books about demonology and has numerous videos. Her work was some of the first I discovered when I first started trying to figure this out for myself. My first impression was,
"Finally! Someone who knows what the fuck is going on!"
I do definitely think she's met demons before. However, some of the stuff she reports is questionable, to me, when I look back on it now. Anyway, I bought one of her books, and one night while I was reading it, demon was being exceptionally mean. So, I did some art. I redesigned the book cover with stickers of Disney princesses, and retitled it (instead of 'demon this,' 'demon that,' and 'demon something else') to:
Crying Little Girls in Pink Tutus, Pussies, and Other Stupid Bitches.

Demon (or demons, as they were claiming to be plural at the time) were offended. They were outraged! They ranted and raved. They cussed me. They said that I would never be without demons for doing that, etc., etc. These guys really want respect. They really do take it personally when you don't bow down to them.

This is why you should make fun of them!

Because, if you don't-- then what does that say to them? That you're afraid of them? That you respect them?
What do most Mamas tell their kids about bullies? Most of them, no matter how liberal they are, tell their kids,
"Don't you go startin' no fights now, but if somebody hits you first, you better knock their lights out!"
Demons are bullies. They are the original bullies. Knock their lights out!

...to be continued